


Be Careful Making Wishes in the Dark

by Norickayer



Series: The One with BLT [1]
Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Young Avengers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Billy gets panic attacks, Circa- volume 2, David and Tommy don't appear sorry guys, Genderqueer Character, Loki Redemption, Loki is sometimes a girl and never ever a guy, M/M, Other, Polyamory, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop, and no one can blame him, stealth crossover with MCU but not enough to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2230929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norickayer/pseuds/Norickayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy is caught in a time loop. If he wants to finally survive the night, he needs to rally his team, avoid getting tangled in Loki’s plots, and somehow defeat Mother’s army of brainwashed parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cycle 1 + 2

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta [ thegaywardens ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thegaywardens) for helping me figure out which parts of this make sense.
> 
> Trigger warning: SUICIDE!  
> Also trigger warning: Scenes from Billy's POV will misgender Loki until ze clarifies zir pronouns. You'll see later.

_IWISHIWASSOMEONEBETTER_

Billy breathed deeply, four counts in and three counts out. His mother – Dr. Rebecca Kaplan, not the Scarlet Witch- said it was supposed to calm you down. Every time Billy had temper tantrums as a child, she’d tell him to breathe like that.

In in in in out out out

_IWISHIWASSOMEONEBETTER_

In in in in out out out

The muzzle of the gun that pressed against Billy’s chin wasn’t as cold as he expected, the Kree material feeling more like heavy plastic than human metal. His finger curled on the trigger, his mind a cacophony of _idontwanttodie, iwantthistobeover, iwishiwassomeonebetter._

The back of Billy’s throat burned. His eyes itched with unshed tears.

_IWISHIWASSOMEONEBETTER_

No one came to stop him. No other solutions presented themselves.

He didn’t think about what would happen to _him_ when he pulled the trigger of Noh-Varr’s Kree energy pistol. What thought he had spared went along the lives of “Mother will be gone, my friends will be ok.”

Billy pulled the trigger.

Everything became engulfed in yellow light. Then, it exploded.

Billy’s head snapped back and his body fell

fell

fell

**CYCLE 2: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

He is in his bedroom in Chelsea. That’s his Dazzler poster on the wall, his comic collection shoved into a corner, his Wiccan costume peeking out of the half-open closet.  He is wearing pajamas, and his legs are twisted in his bed sheets as if he has just fallen off his bed, bringing them with him.

“That wasn’t a dream,” Billy whispers to himself, but maybe it could have been- “a vision.”

He’s never had a prophetic vision before, but Billy will be the first person to admit that he has very little idea of how his magic works, or what its limits are.

But if his dream is going to come true, he needs to work fast. Get out of the house, get somewhere unpopulated-?

Billy groans. What use are prophetic dreams if you still have no idea how to beat the villain?

Still, he has to get up. Has to figure out how to break it to his boyfriend that his mom isn’t really back to life. Has to get them both out of the house before Mother manages to capture them again. Has to figure out how to get away from Mother without depending on Loki-

Billy swallows and forces himself to stop thinking. If that spiral of thought continues, he’ll be back to staring out his bedroom window for three months. Gotta stop dwelling, start doing.

Billy creeps out of his room, his feet finding the sturdy places where the floor won’t creek, as if this is another night of sneaking into Teddy’s room. He eases Teddy’s door open, afraid any noise will alert the monster downstairs of his plan.

“Teddy?” And there he was, just as he was in Billy’s dream. Still in bed, but awake. Still hoping that his mother is downstairs- _No_ , Billy urges himself, _do it. Tell him._ He goes to the side of the bed and sits. “Teddy,” he begins, “I’m sorry. I messed up.”

“I’m not mad,” Teddy replies, turning over to face his boyfriend, “I’m scared. Billy, what if I go downstairs and she’s not there?” Billy shakes his head violently, unsure of how to start.

“She’s not. She isn’t- I messed up. She isn’t your mom.”

“What-“

“We have to go, we have to get away-“ Billy stands up, all nervous energy. Teddy sits up in bed and stares at him.

“If she isn’t my mom, what is she?” Billy just shakes his head jerkily, “wait! Billy, we’re just going to leave your family with her?”

“They’ll be-“ _fine_? Would they really? Loki assured Billy that his parents would be fine (and who knows how accurate that is), but Billy realizes that he had no idea what Mother will do with his little brothers when they get back from sleep-away camp. He’ll just have to defeat Mother before they get home. “We have to go.”

And Teddy, in a display of exactly why he was _the best boyfriend_ _ever_ , said “Ok Billy, let’s go.”

AVENGERS MANSION, NEW YORK

“We shouldn’t do this, it won’t work,” Billy argues, staring at the mansion instead of looking at his boyfriend.

“Why not?” Teddy asks, but Billy can’t find a way to say ‘because they’ll be possessed by this trans-dimensional parasite that I accidentally freed and oh yeah I know this because _it came to me in a dream_ ’, so he stays quiet.

And who knows? Maybe his dream won’t turn out to be 100% accurate. _Maybe_ , Billy thinks as he is buzzed into the home base of the Avengers, _the adult superheroes will be able to help this time, maybe knowing what to expect will let us defeat Mother_.

It doesn’t.

_I’m supposed to be smart_ , Billy thinks as he sits inside a box of nothing in a pocket dimension controlled by Mother. He settles down to wait for the backstabbing God of Mischief to rescue him.

And rescue him, he does.

“Thanks, I guess,” Billy mutters as he grabbed Loki’s hand, allowing the small boy to pull him up and out of Mother’s prison. Billy isn’t in the mood to chat up the boy who will soon drive him to suicide, but Loki apparently doesn’t need an active partner to carry on a conversation.

“-let’s get your lovely boyfriend and -,” Loki pipes as he kicks open the cell holding Teddy.

“Just get us out of here,” mutters Billy, his voice muffled by Teddy’s shoulder.

“Post haste,” Loki agrees, and says something in ancient Norse. A familiar green light envelopes all three boys, and the nothingness of Mother’s dimension fades away, to be replaced by the bustle of a cheap diner.

“If you would just-“ Loki begins, gesturing to an angry-looking waiter. Billy doesn’t let him finish. He closes his hands around Loki’s face, muffling his voice.

“That’s enough out of you, you backstabbing little jerk,” Billy hisses.  “Teddy! Get us out of here; we’re going to give Mother a gift.”

It sounds great like that, but it’s hard to carry two people while one of them held the other’s mouth shut, so Teddy ends up taking over Loki-sitting duty while Billy magic’s them all back to Avengers Mansion.

As soon as Loki’s mouth is free, he yells “No! Billy-“ but by then he has already fallen twenty feet to the ground, and the Stepford Avengers are rushing in.

“I want to be away, I want to be away, _Iwanttobeaway_ ,” Billy chants, as Captain America and the Scarlett Witch close in. His head pounds, his eyes begin to glow, his stomach rises like he’s reached the highest point of a rollercoaster-

Then he throws up.

Mother gets him anyway.

The tendrils of Mother’s power aren’t the white of snow or clouds. There is no shadow, no texture, no form to them. They are the white of blank paper, unbleached cloth: empty, but with infinite possibilities (none of them good).

The tendrils engulf Billy and drain him dry.

Billy’s body does limp and falls

falls

falls

**CYCLE 3: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

Not a dream. Not a vision. He died, twice, and came back to this moment in time.

 


	2. Cycle 3

**Last Time:**

_The tendrils of Mother’s power aren’t the white of snow or clouds. There is no shadow, no texture, no form to them. They are the white of blank paper, unbleached cloth: empty, but with infinite possibilities (none of them good)._

_The tendrils engulf Billy and drain him dry._

_Billy’s body does limp and falls_

_falls_

_falls_

**_CYCLE 3: DAY ONE_ **

_Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise._

_He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-_

_Not a dream. Not a vision. He’s died, twice, and came back to this moment in time._

 

 

**This Time** :

It seems no matter where they headed from the Kaplan’s apartment in Chelsea, Mother will catch them.

Billy takes Loki’s offered hand and squirms out of his cell made of white and nothingness. He takes a moment to look at the cheerful face of the boy who betrayed him and drove him to suicide in one life, the boy who he, in turn, died betraying in another.

“Let’s make a suitably hasty escape,” Loki says, and Billy follows.

Upon arriving at Joe’s Diner, Billy dutifully pays off the manager and slumps into a booth, grateful for a moment to rest after all the action of the past day (all three of them).

The next thing he knows, Teddy is shaking him awake with that old concerned look on his face.

“B, are you ok?” he asks quietly, and Billy doesn’t answer because seriously, what kind of question is that? All Billy feels is numbness, dread, and a kind of bone-deep exhaustion as he turns to face Loki, the God of Fucking Shit Up.

“Can you fix this?” Billy asks.

Loki contorts his face into an exaggerated ‘thinking’ expression.

“If I can figure out how Mother is controlling them, maybe,” Loki says, “but while I have the skill to do so, I am but a child, and my body hasn’t the power for a spell of that magnitude.” He spreads his arms wide as if to say ‘look at me, I’m tiny’.

Billy sighs, and because the one thing he really wants at this point is for everything to _stop_ , he says,   
“What if you had my power?”

Loki freezes, and a manic grin blooms on his face. “Why Master Kaplan, I do believe that might be enough.”

Teddy looks from one boy to the other, eyebrows furrowed. “Wait, what? Billy, you can’t trust him. He’s _Loki_ ,” he says as if that explains everything, and it really does. Billy ignores him. There will be time to explain after they defeat Mother, and if they don’t, well. It won’t matter what he explains.

Billy blinks slowly and looks down at the table. “I’m tired,” he says, “Can I sleep first?”

Loki looks around the diner, inspecting each of the other customers, “Ah, well that depends on how fast Mother finds us and takes control of our fellow diners, doesn’t it?” Billy groans.

“Look sharp, Wiccan, you can rest in the realm of the dead!” Loki declares, but Billy just rolls his eyes and rests his head in his hands.

“I _wish_.”

Billy’s head slumps onto the table, and slowly, his eyes close.

“We’re _not_ trusting you with Billy’s magic.”

“Live a little!”

Billy falls asleep there, to the sound of Teddy and Loki arguing.

He wakes up maybe fifteen minutes later, to the sound of Mother’s goo-parents attacking. The manager and one of the waiters have become infected sometime while Billy was asleep, but the rest of the customers and employees seem completely nonchalant about the attacking group of monstrous parents.

They’re surrounded, and the diner makes a very confined battlefield.

So Teddy breaks down a wall to compensate. Unfortunately, it turns out that wall was load-bearing, and the ceiling collapses on everyone, including the innocent diners.

“Shit!” Billy yells, throwing up his arms to protect his face. He’s still too tired and too discouraged to try his own magic, but luckily Loki has no such issues, as a muttered Norse word envelops Billy and Loki in green light just as the drywall, wood, and plaster falls onto their table.

When the light disperses, they are halfway across the city, inside a club that Billy barely recognizes from the first cycle. A bouncer in a tee-shirt asks to see some ID, and Billy looks around blankly for Teddy. He isn’t there.

“Teddy,” Billy hisses urgently to Loki, “where’s Teddy!”

Loki, busy creating magical fake IDs, spares him a glance and says casually, “Oh. We must have left him at the diner.”

“What! We need to go back for him!”

Loki gives him a patronizing smile, which should not be possible on a face that young. “And what will we do there? Be captured by Mother again? You’re still exhausted and I’m not even sure I could manage another teleportation spell, let alone anything greater.”

“I’ll give you my power,” Billy offers desperately. “We just- we need to get back there and help Teddy.” He knew this was a bad idea. But even if he has to go around again, that is preferable to than living in a world without Teddy.

“Ok,” Loki agrees, “That could work.” And he gives up on completing the fake IDs. “We’ll just be going,” he mentions to the bouncer, who is still squinting at Billy suspiciously. Loki smiles at Billy like he has done something sneaky. “Any time now.”

“I want to give my power to Loki, _I want to give my power to Loki, IwanttogivemypowertoLoki, IWANTTOGIVEMYPOWERTOLOKI_ -“

There is a rush, as if Billy had been full of ice water this whole time and had never known it, but now that ice water is cascading down his arms and out his hands, leaving not warmth in its place, but numbness. Billy breathes out carefully.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Loki says as he studies his hands, dancing with the blue sparks of Billy’s magic.

“Before you run off, _save Teddy_ ,” Billy demands through gritted teeth.

Loki huffs. “If you _insist_ -“ and he disappears, leaving Billy alone in a dimly-lit night club.

Billy never gets the chance to figure out whether Loki would do as he asked, because twenty minutes later, as Billy runs down unfamiliar streets hoping to get to Teddy in time, the world dissolves from under him

And he falls-

falls

falls

**CYCLE 4: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

He hadn’t died, that time. So why is he back here again?


	3. Cycle 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy's not sure how long he can keep this up.

**Last Time:**

_The world dissolves from under him_

_And he falls-_

_falls_

_falls_

**CYCLE 4: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

He hadn’t died, that time. So why is he back here?

Billy takes a deep breath and thinks about what happened the first time around. He thinks about how every time he runs from the house, Mother catches them anyway. He thinks about how Loki always comes for them.

He goes back to sleep.

Some time later, the creak of Teddy easing his bedroom door open rouses him.

“You haven’t gone downstairs yet either, huh?” Teddy asks with a smile. It’s a great smile. Teddy’s lips part slightly, revealing teeth like a _Listerine_ commercial. He has dimples, Billy swears. Actual dimples. “Why are you on the floor?”

Billy realizes that he is, indeed, still on the floor.  “Yeah,” he answers vaguely. He’s woken on this floor for three straight days. Something has to change. “Teddy? I have to tell you something weird.”

“I’m an alien hybrid prophesized to save the universe and I’m dating the reincarnated warlock son of the Scarlet Witch, who just brought my dead mom back to life. Lay it on me.”

“I’ve lived through today three times already and I don’t know how to make it stop.” Billy stares into Teddy’s eyes, willing him to believe him. He can’t do this alone again.

“So it’s like-“

“Don’t say Groundhog Day.”

“-any other movie or comic book with time travel. Ok.” Teddy stops for a moment to think. “I- three times, huh?” he asks, sitting down on Billy’s bed.

“Yeah. I get up, we run from a creepy inter-dimensional parasite, we get caught by said inter-dimensional parasite, we get rescued by the reincarnated God of Mischief, and from there… anything I try fails. And we die.”

“Ok slow down. Inter-dimensional parasite?”

“Um, yeah. It’s- that’s not your mom downstairs.” Teddy squeezes his eyes shut and grimaces. There’s an awful sound like a choked sob. He opens his eyes again, and Billy doesn’t mention their newfound wetness.

“Ok,” Teddy says, “Let’s get out of here.”

But of course it can’t be that easy. Mother catches up to them three blocks away, and it’s back into the same old cell in Mother’s creepy not-dimension. Billy idly wonders if he should start drawing tally marks on the wall. He wonders if they’d still be there next cycle. Then he wonders what he’d draw on, considering that all that’s there is _nothing_. A cell of compressed nothing.

Loki’s foot kicks in the ceiling. He smiles his irreverent little kid smile, so different than Teddy’s and not reassuring at all, and offers Billy a hand up. Billy takes it, and they go find Teddy.

They lasted the longest in the first cycle, so Billy tries to replicate it as closely as possible. They go to the diner that Loki so enjoys (it looks much better than the last time Billy saw it). They fly off to take Loki to Asgardia (with Loki complaining all the way, but Billy won’t explain further than “I want to check something”). When Miss America shows up to save their collective asses, Billy hopes that maybe she’ll know what’s going on, but she just says “I got caught up-“ and then the Amerimoms attack.

Billy had this great plan: he was going to save his magic and try to release it in one big burst in Central Park when he really needed it. Unfortunately, when an angry Jotun is yelling in your face about eating your rescuer, you don’t have much time for strategic thought. It’s natural, automatic to try to teleport Laufey away. Predictably, Billy fails and promptly throws up all over the ground. It’s mostly bile, as Billy forgot to eat today. He wonders when the last time he ate was, and if his body is making the switch with him or just his mind.

It must just be his mind, Billy thinks, or else he’d be headless from the first cycle.

By the time he’s ready to pay attention to the fight, Teddy is grabbing him and lunging for Loki, who says his stupid little Norse word (which is becoming way too familiar at this point), and all four teenagers disappear.

They’re back at the night club from two cycles ago (was it two? They’re getting jumbled in Billy’s brain). The bouncer is staring Billy down, and it is at this point that Billy realizes that he still hasn’t changed out of his pajamas. Awkward, but not his number one concern.

Loki does his magic with IDs while the other teens settle into a booth. Billy wonders if there’s any food to be had, but since he’s actually too young to be here he has no experiences to compare this to.

Billy leans over the table and tries to fill America in before Loki gets back. He knows less about America than about any of the other teens he met today, but he trusts her way more than Loki. In general, Billy figures, the less Loki knows, the better. He manages to get through “this is going to sound weird but I’ve lived through today four times and Mother is going to find us here but we’ll be rescued by some of our friends and I don’t know how to fix this,” before Loki slides into the booth beside them.

America turns to glare at him, and oh yeah, that’s why Billy trusts her.

“Don’t trust him,” she warns the superheroes. Teddy snorts in amusement, like Billy did the first time around. Billy doesn’t find it funny anymore.

“Well yeah,” Teddy says, “ _Loki_.”

Then America repeats the story about how Loki asked for her help in killing Wiccan, and all Billy can think is ‘ _that little shit_ ,’ which is admittedly a great description of Loki.

Loki protests his innocence and claims he was only using his reputation to convince America to _protect_ Billy, and while that makes sense, it’s clear that the ‘woe is me’ expression on Loki’s face is an act. The problem with Loki, Billy reflects, is that he lies so much that he’s actually forgotten how to act sincere, instead sounding like a kid whining ‘but it really _wasn’t_ me this time!’

Billy should know. Tommy isn’t his only brother.

Loki begins to explain what Mother is and how she controls parents, and Billy tries to pay as much attention as he can. When Loki brings up his Master Plan to borrow Billy’s power, he just laughs bitterly.

“Not a chance.”

Loki looks put out, but before he can put up too much of a fight Mother and her band of parents arrive. Billy knows Kate and Noh-Varr are probably on their way (he must have missed Kate’s text again, where is his phone?). Now all he needs to do is stall for time until they show up.

Loki tries to mutter his spell, but he cuts off half way through and passes out, which Billy didn’t notice the first time. Billy can see what he meant about using magic in that tiny body of his. _That makes at least one thing Loki didn’t lie about._

“Loki’s out of commission and my magic isn’t behaving, any ideas?” Billy calls to America and Teddy, who are both taking battle stances to his right and left. America looks guilty and opens her mouth like she wants to say something, but she’s cut off by an attacking parent who quickly turns into goo as America’s fist crashes through its head.

Despite Billy’s foreknowledge, the three heroes (and little Loki) are quickly defeated by Mother and her minions. Billy just hopes they’ve bought enough time. As he’s learned several times over, one little change can mean death for himself and his friends.

As Mother descends on him, Billy thinks, _this is the end_. Billy’s vision whites out.

But he doesn’t fall.

When he wakes up, it isn’t to a headache on his bedroom floor. Instead, he’s tied to the other three teens, trapped in the middle of the dancefloor as Mother says some creepy stuff about eating them or absorbing them or some such thing. Billy, who was stricken by this speech the first time, instead directs his attention to the windows, because this is the moment Noh-Varr and Kate arrive.

It isn’t Noh-Varr’s ruthless efficiency that surprises Billy, because of course he’s witnessed that first hand when Noh-Varr was brainwashed and attacking them. It’s his style that’s a surprise. He’s all jumps and backflips and- _did he just stop to put on some music_?

Then of course, Noh-Varr jumps through a hole in the wall and lands on top of his _alien spaceship_ before turning around to deliver the line “Come with me if you want to be awesome.” Clearly Kate knows how to pick ‘em.

All six of them pile into Noh-Varr‘s ship and take off. Billy screams “higher, higher! We need to get out of the city!” because he is _so close_ surviving; he can’t let this be the end.

“I’m trying,” Noh-Varr growls, “but it’s a bit difficult to fly with people jumping on my ship!”

“Get away from bystanders,” Kate suggests, and someone else decides on Central Park.

“No,” Billy protests, “That’s too close, they’ll find us,” but he’s overruled and ignored.

As they land the ship, Billy gets increasingly twitchy. This is the longest he’s survived since the first cycle, but he hasn’t thought of a way out yet. Telling Teddy and America hadn’t particularly helped. He is going to die, again, in sight of the Avengers Mansion. This is his life.

The Mother-construct of Noh-Varr’s dad crashes through the ship and grabs him. Billy struggles and tries his best to bash the guy’s head in, but one unarmed human can’t do much against an adult Kree in some kind of insect-themed exoskeleton. Flying through New York under the arm of an evil kidnapping dead parent is much different than flying under his own power, and if Billy had eaten anything that day he might have thrown up again.

America manages to grab him back after a quick aerial fight, and Billy thinks it might has gone faster this time than the first time. Or maybe he’s spacing out due to lack of sleep and food.

They return to the ship, and it’s time for Billy to face the music. Loki is entirely too chipper as he reiterates his plan to borrow Billy’s power to stop Mother. When that’s struck down, Loki says triumphantly, “Kill Master Kaplan! It’s his power. Kill him and this all stops.” Teddy and America practically scream “NO” at the little god.

“Got a plan C?” Billy asks with little hope. Loki seems to think for a bit, then suggests tentatively, “we all die?”

Billy looks around at the people surrounding him. Teddy, his boyfriend. Kate, one of his best friends, Noh-Varr, an enemy-turned-ally, and America, his…mysterious protector? Whatever. The thing is, Billy is very, very tired. What choice is there?

So when Loki saunters up and whispers “Do you want your boyfriend to have to snap your neck to save everyone’s lives?” Billy answers “no.” and lends Loki his power.

Predictably, as he has several time before, Loki disappears. The others give Billy variations of the same sad, disappointed look. Then they turn toward the approaching enemies, leaving Billy an opening to sneak away.

He could stay with his friends and die in the coming battle against Mother, but Billy really can’t bear to see Teddy or Kate fall before him. Not again. Hell, this is why they stopped being superheroes in the first place.

“I wish I was someone better.”

So instead Billy cradles the Kree energy gun in his hands and wonders what will happen if he _doesn’t_ pull the trigger.

And suddenly, he finds out.

Loki smacks the gun from his hands.

Loki, who a moment before was nowhere to be found, is now _here_ , _in this ship_ , preventing Billy from shooting himself.

“Plan A before Plan B, Billy,” Loki says, and for the first time Billy thinks he hears genuine emotion in Loki’s voice instead of childlike glee or feigned humility. He thinks he hears regret.

But that can’t be right, because Loki is the backstabbing God of Lies who- who-

who came back to save Billy. Who came back even when he’d already gotten his claws into Billy’s power. Who came back when no one expected him to, when there was nothing to be gained.

_This doesn’t make any sense._

“Now come on, we have to save the day!” Loki proclaims in that chipper way of his, and Billy finds himself following Loki onto the battlefield. Loki quickly throws up a spell circle, and Billy watches as energy from the circle shoots out to supercharge each of his friends. As he watches, America’s punches go from effective to explosive and Kate’s bow goes from shooting lasers to wide streams of energy.

“What’s happening?” America yells as she continues to beat back parents, seemingly more interested in punching than in an answer.

From where he is floating above Central Park, Loki replies, “I am. Famously so.”

It really looks like they’ll save the day. It looks like they’ll survive and defeat Mother and finally be able to see the next day. Billy can’t believe it. After so long trapped in cycles, it seems too good to be true.

And it is. Loki slumps to the ground in an exhausted heap. Teddy grabs him before following the other teens back into the ship. Noh-Varr delivers the bad news: the engines are down. They can’t take off.

“How can we refuel?” Teddy asks urgently, but the answer- that Kirby engines run on belief- is so nonsensical that Billy can’t process it.

Teddy takes Billy’s hand in his and squeezes. _This is so unbelievable,_ Billy thinks.

Mother’s forces overwhelm them.

Mother’s power engulfs him one more, draining him of everything that he is.

Billy’s body goes limp and falls

falls

falls

**CYCLE 5: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

Billy clenches his fists. He was _so close_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think this chapter feels a bit repetitive, just imagine how Billy feels.
> 
> Next chapter to be uploaded Friday.


	4. Cycle 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At a loss for anything else to do, Billy decides to try honesty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: anxiety, drowning.

**Last Time:**

_Mother’s power engulfs him one more, draining him of everything that he is._

_Billy’s body goes limp and falls_

_falls_

_falls_

**CYCLE 5: DAY ONE**

Billy’s body hits the ground. His head bounces against the floor and his eyes open in surprise.

He is alive. He has eyes to open. He-

Billy clenches his fists. He was _so close_.

But lying here on the floor makes his back hurt, so Billy climbs back into bed and goes to sleep.

This looping problem is obviously not going to be fixed immediately. He might as well get some sleep. Hell, maybe he can even gulp down some breakfast before Mother attacks…

He doesn’t. He oversleeps and wakes to a distant crash and Teddy’s voice screaming “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!”

“Shit,” Billy mutters as he trips over his sheets in an effort to get to Teddy. “Shit shit shit,” he continues as he stumbles down the stairs, still groggy and trying to convince his eyes to focus on anything for more than half a second. “Teddy!” Billy calls, hoping his boyfriend hasn’t yet been devoured by a trans-dimensional monster-thing.

Teddy roars in response, sounding like the real Hulk for once. Billy is trying to figure out what’s going on, but for some reason his adrenaline hasn’t kicked in and instead he’s left rubbernecking at Teddy as he careens around the kitchen, trying to avoid Mother’s gooey grasp.

Before he knows it, Teddy is grabbing Billy and crashing through the window that always seems to get wrecked in every cycle.

“You ok?” Teddy asks, green scaly arms holding Billy tight as he flies down the New York avenue away from the Kaplans’ home.

“I’m sorry about your mom,” Billy blurts out instead. He wonders how many times he’ll apologize for this. He wonders if reliving this day over and over might be karmic punishment for hurting Teddy like this.

“It wasn’t my mom,” Teddy says shortly.

“Yeah, I accidentally summoned a goo-monster from between dimensions... or something,” Billy explains apologetically, “And uh, as long as we’re running away, do you want to get brunch?”

Teddy is silent for a moment.

“It’s just that I’m really hungry,” Billy says awkwardly, hoping he isn’t being incredibly insensitive.

“Yeah. Yeah let’s do that.”

They’re caught by Mother half-way through a grand slam at Denny’s (Teddy secretly _loves_ Denny, even though Billy is pretty sure everyone else who frequents the place is stoned.), which was convenient because Billy is still in his pajamas and thus does not have this wallet. He realized this half-way to the restaurant, but was hoping a supervillain attack would get him out of paying. It’s possible that Loki is a bad influence in previously-undiscovered ways.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Billy says shortly before Loki kicks in the ceiling of his cell. Loki offers him a hand up and says in a deliberately casual manner,

“I don’t know what you mean,” which probably means he’s up to something. Big surprise. It’s Loki.

As they climb through what Billy thinks of as “Mother’s dungeon” he finally asks the question that’s been weighing on him since his not-suicide.

“Why did you help me?” Loki glances back and puts on a wry grin.

“Haven’t you heard?” he asks, “I’m _really good now_.” He seems aware of how ridiculous that sounds.

“Yeah, maybe,” Billy mutters under his breath.

Once Teddy is with them, Loki teleports them back to Joe’s Diner, where Teddy has to pick up Loki’s tab due to Billy’s lack of wallet. “If you don’t have your wallet, how were you going to-“

“Do you have your phone with you?” Billy asks suddenly.

“Yeah, why?”

“Gimme,” Billy says, but it’s really only for effect, because he’s already taking the phone out of Teddy’s back pocket and flipping through his contacts.

“What- who are you calling?”

“Not sure yet. Do you have contact info for the Runaways?” Billy asks, flipping through Teddy’s contacts for anything like “Runaways” “Nico” or “Chase”.

“Well they try to keep off the grid, but I have Xavin’s email address in there.” Teddy takes back the phone to show Billy the listing under “Skrull Buddy.”

Billy bites his lip, “But no phone number, huh?”

“They’re in LA, not parents, not adults. You’re thinking they aren’t affected by Mother. Makes sense,” Teddy responds, “Hey Loki, can you teleport us to LA?”

“If I were a horse you’d have to shoot me,” Loki deadpans.

“That’s a no,” Billy mutters with an eyeroll. _Seriously, Loki is such a drama queen_.

 “But couldn’t we just try-“

“The Avengers are a bust. We tried them in cycle one,” Billy sighs. Loki looks curious, but Billy makes no move to explain.

“X-men? At least some of them are our age, right?”

“Uh…” Billy responded, mentally tallying the mutants who hadn’t been de-powered, “No idea. Maybe?”

It turns out no, because their current base is _also_ in California, and the trio doesn’t even make it out of the city before they’re inundated with parents. Luckily, they’re all mundane human parents, albeit infected with Mother’s magic, so they’re only dangerous in their numbers, not in their intrinsic abilities.

Miss America shows up shortly after.

“Sorry,” she says through gritted teeth as she punches through a group of parents swarming Billy, “Been busy!”

“Yeah, brainwashed parents will do that to ya,” Billy throws back.

America’s parents arrive from the sky, hovering and serene and reminding Billy oddly of the new Captain Marvel. The one who’s not Teddy’s dad.

“We need out of here, fast,” America warns the boys.

“How’s your magic!” Teddy calls to Billy, who is throwing lightening around instead of relying on his other powers.

“Crappy!” Billy calls back, “How ‘bout you, Loki?”

“Don’t trust him!” America snarls while dodging her mothers’ attacks.

“Significantly better!” Loki chirps, “Ready to go?”

“America, stop this foolishness,” one of America’s mom’s says, “You have a decade of studies to catch up on,” the other adds.

America has just enough time to tell her parents _exactly_ what she thinks of that before Loki’s spell takes hold.

MJ’S NIGHT CLUB, NEW YORK CITY

Four teenagers settle into a booth as Billy begins to explain his situation.

“-I’ve lived through this day like five times now and I am officially out of ideas. Nothing I do ever allows us to defeat Mother or, you know, survive- no, Loki, not even letting you borrow my powers.”

“But there must be a way, right? We can’t just be doomed to be murdered by a goo-copy of my mom!” Teddy argues.

 “Well maybe, but I don’t even know why time is looping in the first place!”

“Is time really looping, though?” Loki asks, “It’s my understanding that changing the past just sends you into an alternate timeline.”

“What, so Billy might be actually hopping universes?” Teddy asks.

“He’s not,” says America, “I’d know.”

“Why?” Billy says.

America answers, “Cause I’d _know_. Now what do we do about it?”

“Running doesn’t work, we can’t get far enough away without my magic or Loki’s magic or Noh-Varr’s ship-“

“Who’s Noh-Varr?”

“-and fighting doesn’t work, she just traps us in her creepy nothing-dimension and eats my soul or whatever happened in that cycle.”

“Wait, she did what now?”

“Let’s review what we know,” suggests Loki, “what is the trigger that restarts the loop? Is it a particular action? A particular time?”

“As far as I can tell, it restarts when I _die_. We never defeat Mother. We never make it past tonight.  I have tried everything up to and including KILLING MYSELF, but nothing ever works.”

“You did WHAT?” Teddy demands.

Loki looks shattered for a moment. He recovers quickly. “You killed yourself?” he asks thoughtfully.

“Yeah. It was supposed to stop Mother. My spell brought her here, my death should’ve stopped her, right?” Billy asks rhetorically.

The look on Loki’s face is familiar- he saw it just last night, right before he would’ve pulled the trigger.

“I told you that,” Loki guesses. “Well I’m sorry, Billy. I lied. Your death won’t solve anything.”

America stands up suddenly and grabs Loki by the front of his shirt. Loki is speaking fast, something about “notintheeyes!” and America is reaming him out about how “what is wrong with you!” and “people aren’t your playthings!” and “he could have died!”

Teddy is looking at Billy with that look in his eyes, like he understands and is disappointed.

”Why would you think that suicide is an acceptable solution?” Teddy asks. Billy doesn’t answer. Teddy pulls him in for a full-body hug, which is a bit awkward while they’re still sitting in a booth, but totally worth it.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re a murderer.” America warns as she and Loki sit back down. Loki is nursing a split lip, but he doesn’t seem to be complaining, which Billy notices as odd but doesn’t comment on.

“So, ideas?” Teddy reminds the group.

“I got one,” America says, “We get the hell out of Dodge.”

In an action completely unparalleled in any of the cycles Billy has lived through, Loki agrees with her. “We should fall back, find those super-friends of yours. If I couldn’t stop Mother with your power, we’ll have to take the time to train you to do it yourself. Or-“ Loki looked thoughtful, “I don’t have the power in this body. You don’t have the skill to handle the power. But if I was an adult, I’d have my full power and then maybe-“

“Chico, if you think we’re lifting a finger to help you after you just admitted _to driving Billy to suicide_ ,-“

“-It’s not a trick this time!” Loki snarls in irritation, “What would be the point of that? By all accounts any selfish goal I accomplish will be ret-conned by tonight if we don’t break out of this loop and-“

“What if-“ Teddy begins to say.

“ALRIGHT,” Billy yells, standing up and slamming his hands on the table for emphasis, “If we survive the night, we’ll try Loki’s plan. Until then, how are we getting out of here? My magic is acting wonky, Loki’s out of juice and Teddy can’t fly fast enough to outrace Mother’s goo-people. I’m open to suggestions at this point.”

“I’ve got-“ America begins to say.

“I know this is embarrassing,” interrupts a bald muscular man with an earpiece – presumably nightclub security- “but your parents are here to pick you up.” He gestures to the entrance, where Mother, the Ameri-moms, and the Kaplans are giving the group disapproving looks.

 _Everything is happening too fast_ , Billy thinks _, there isn’t time!_

Teddy and America lunge over the table rather than try to squeeze past Loki and Billy, who are sitting in their way.

Loki and Billy lock eyes. Loki opens his mouth to attempt a spell, but Billy already knows how that ends, and they can’t afford it if they want to survive this cycle.

“Loki,” Billy says. He repeats it, imbuing the name with power and meaning, “Lokilokilokilokilokilokiloki-“

The tiny god catches fire. He stands up and tries to pat it out, “No! It isn’t-“

Then he explodes. Billy isn’t afraid or regretful; he’s just dazzled by something _new_ happening.

From the ashes of Loki, Loki is born.

This Loki is taller, better looking, and completely naked. Billy, who is a Professional Superhero and knows to only ogle his teammates when they _aren’t_ in mortal danger, makes a judgment call.

“That enough power?” he asks New Loki. This Loki frowns, studies his hands as if they are arcane fortune-telling instruments, and shakes his head. “It’s not there.”

“ _Great_.”

Lured by the show of magic, Mother saunters toward the two boys.

“You two are out past curfew,” she scolds, “and Loki, you’re indecent. You can’t come into an establishment like this wearing _that_.” She smiles, because she’s caught them.

A bolt of green energy bursts from Loki’s hands into Mother’s stomach. The force of it pushes her back several feet.

“At least I’m not completely useless,” Loki quips, and wow, that smile looks very different on an older face.

He’s right. They manage to hold off Mother’s forces until the cavalry arrives, stylish as ever with their mood music and getaway vehicle.

Noh-Varr touches the ship down in Central Park, because some things apparently never change.

Billy avoids being kidnapped this time by luck- he’s sitting in a different seat, and manages to lunge out of the way before Noh-Varr’s father can grab him.

The Young Avengers look out at Mother’s accumulated forces.

“Now or never,” Kate mutters, and Billy snorts, because actually, _no_.

“Ready, Loki?” Billy asks. Loki, who has magic’d himself an outfit that makes him look somewhat like a Renn Faire character and somewhat like a Slytherin, nods.

“Juice me up,” he says with a smirk that should _really not be allowed_.

Billy complies, the way he has three times before. Ice-cold energy drains out of Billy, and he shivers at the reminder of several deaths.

“Wow thanks,” Loki grins, “Now I don’t have to die with all of you!” he gives them a little jaunty wave and disappears.

“Jesus Christ,” Kate groans, “Who didn’t see that coming? Show of hands.”

“Billy, are you-“ Teddy reaches out to comfort him. Billy shrugs him off.

“Stand your ground and get ready,” Billy demands, “He’ll be back.”

But the thing is, Billy’s not sure. He’s not sure if the last cycle was a fluke, or if Loki knows more than he’s letting on about time loops. Maybe he won’t be back, maybe he knows a way out of the loop without them, maybe-

Less dwelling, more doing. Billy may not have his magic, but he has lightning. It’ll be just like the old days when he was Asgardian.

Billy breathes in in in in out out out.

He can do this.

Mother’s parent army slowly grows as more infected humans trickle in from the city. Noh-Varr’s parents and America’s moms have stopped attacking for the moment, possibly waiting for Mother’s signal- oh, there it is.

Noh-Varr has a gun in each hand, blasting parents before they can get close to the group. America is off flying, dodging and distracting the flying Amerimoms and occasionally Noh-Varr’s dad, when he gets close enough. Teddy hasn’t actually changed from his Hulkling form since the night club, but he gains a few inches as the crowd of parents approaches.

Instead of joining America in the sky, Teddy stays grounded and fights at Billy’s side.

Kate’s got- what is that, that is _not_ Hawkeye’s bow. Kate’s got some sort of bow that shoots energy instead of arrows, which is admittedly _awesome_ and incredibly practical, especially for an enemy this numerous.

The crowd of parents reaches the teens. Teddy pivots on a giant green heel and punches through several heads. Billy summons lightning and begins to zap, but it’s hard to keep track of where all his allies are in the crowd, to keep from hitting them.

Usually by this time Billy is inside the Kree ship, flirting with death.

This is the first major battle Billy’s been a part of since Cassie died.

All the habits and muscle-memories are still there, but that doesn’t stop Billy’s heart from racing or his palms from sweating. He’s done this a dozen times. Massive super-powered clashes were practically commonplace when the Young Avengers were still an official team instead of a loosely-connected group of friends.

Wiccan could always fly, though. Without his magic he has lightning, but not flight. Fighting on the ground, Wiccan is discovering, is entirely different. You can’t escape up.

An icy wave of adrenaline washes through him- or, no, that’s _magic_!

Loki is back, as Billy knew (hoped) he would be. He’s sitting in mid-air on top of a glowing pentagram ( _spell circle_ , Loki calls it). Five tethers of magic reach out from the circle to each of the Young Avengers. This Loki doesn’t look as strained as he did last cycle. This Loki looks _vengeful_.

“Miss me?” Loki asks with less enthusiasm than usual.

“Bite me!” America calls back, which is as good as he’s going to get.

“Plan?” Teddy grunts out as his punches take out several parents at once.

“Prioritize Marvel Boy and Miss America’s parents- hit them as hard as you can to break the spell-“

And really, that is all they need.

It doesn’t take ten minutes, which is good because Loki already wasted four of them running off.

As it is, they barely make it, America’s fist finally catching up to Noh-Varr’s father just moments before the blue sparks fade and disperse, leaving Loki lightheaded but conscious.

They make it back to the ship.

“The engines are empty,” Noh-Varr warns, “It won’t fly.”

It’s America who asks this time: “How do we refuel?”

“They’re Kirby engines. _Imagination_ engines. They’re sparked by belief.”

“Great. And us: a pile of cynics,” Kate mentions, “Good thing Speed’s not here.”

Teddy squeezes Billy’s hand.

Billy breathes in in in in out out out.

“We’re going to make it.”

They do.

The Kree spacecraft cruises away from the city, and with no parents left who can fly, Mother is left in the dust.

**END OF PART ONE**

 “We did it,” Billy breaths as New York becomes more distant. “WE DID IT!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air, then throwing them around Teddy for an impromptu we-didn’t-die makeout.

“It’s over,” Billy sighs into Teddy’s lips.

“You know, except for the whole ‘Mother still being active and lying in wait for us’ thing,” Loki agrees.

As flippant as Loki is, the rest agree that he’s right. It isn’t over, even if Billy’s made it further than ever before. It won’t be _over_ until they can go home.

Although it is unanimously agreed that Loki is the _actual worst_ and not to be trusted, they decide not to throw him out of the airlock or ditch him at a rest stop bathroom (Teddy’s idea). Kate says bitterly that it’s a hero thing, that they’re contractually obligated to give him a chance because that’s what being a Young Avenger is about. Teddy says Loki reminds him of the Runaways, who turned out to be a lot better than anyone would have expected them to be- then Kate suggests ditching Loki with them, but _ohmygod_ Billy can’t imagine the trouble Loki could cause with a team of super-powered kids with dubious morality and terrible role models. Noh-Varr doesn’t seem to care either way beyond showing off his record collection.

Despite his best judgment, Billy is starting to like Loki, in a ‘worst friend ever’ kind of way. Anyway, since Speed isn’t with them, they have an opening for a token evil teammate.

Billy tries to stay awake, but nods off in his chair while they’re flying over Ontario.

When he wakes up, they’ve landed the ship somewhere in rural Canada, where Kate says “there are absolutely no parents around for miles- or, you know, people of any kind.”

It actually works out for awhile. Billy begins to calm down.

**Cycle 5: Day Two**

The danger seems to have passed. Loki is teaching him some meditation and basic spellcrafting (often muttering about “complete travesties of nature”, but only when Billy can hear), Kate is having entirely too much fun practicing trick shots with an alien energy bow, and America periodically sulks off to do mysterious savior things. Noh-Varr apparently likes to dance to 60s music in his underwear. Who knew?

Despite the relative safety, Billy has a bad day.

He’s actually pretty amazed that he’s been able to keep it together so long. It’s been something like a week since he first brought Mother to this dimension, and he’s been mostly functional that entire time.

He guesses he was probably due for an anxiety attack, given that.

This is the longest period of calm he’s experienced in the past week, and Billy can’t help but worry when the other shoe will drop.  No, worry is the wrong word. Worry is sneaking into his boyfriend’s room at night to find him gone. Worry is wondering what Loki has up his sleeve, because there’s always something.

Billy is terrified. Billy is obsessed. Billy finds that he can’t think of anything else at all.

Mother must be planning something, mustn’t she? When will she strike? How will she do it? How long does Billy have before he wakes up on the floor of his bedroom again?

Billy tries to do his breathing exercises, but he can’t catch his breath. His heart is racing, and he gulps at the air, desperate for oxygen.

He stands up and stumbles away from the others. They can’t see, they can’t see, Kate will worry and Teddy will be inconvenienced and who knows what Loki will do with this weakness of his? Better to get away, to deal with this alone.

Billy sways on his feet, lightheaded. He presses one hand against a tree for balance. Ok. One foot in front of the other. Get away.

Loki spots him. The chaos god makes eye contact and makes a move toward him. Billy tries to walk faster, turning away from the group.

A hand grabs his shoulder. Billy flinches away.

“Billy,” Teddy says, concern written clearly in his blue eyes.

 _‘No,’_ Billy thinks _, ‘this is exactly what I wanted to avoid._ ’

“Are you ok?” Teddy asks, “Do you want to sit down? Can I get you some water?” Teddy is an absolute sweetheart, and he’s gotten Billy through a million panic attacks since Cassie and Jonas died. He knows just what to do and say at this point, but it doesn’t make Billy feel any better. He doesn’t want to need help. He doesn’t want to ask any more of Teddy than he already has.

_‘I don’t deserve this, after I let the parasite in and ruined everything in the first place!’_

Billy’s eyes slide past Teddy to Loki, who is approaching the couple curiously. _No._

“I need to-“ _go_ , he doesn’t say, but Teddy understands anyway.

Billy makes his escape.

AT BASECAMP

Teddy watches his fiancé retreat. His heart urges him to follow, to wrap Billy in a giant hug and make everything better. Teddy’s head knows that isn’t how things work anymore.

“Don’t,” he tells Loki when he tries to follow Billy.

Loki shakes his head in annoyance. “We don’t have time for him to sulk. Mother will find us here eventually.”

Teddy resists the urge to smack Loki. “He’s not _sulking_. Leave him alone. He just -needs to be alone.”

Loki gives him a considering look. “How bad must it be if not even his True Love can snap him out of his funk?”

Teddy snaps.

“He’s not in a _funk_! Billy’s been through a lot. Some people have _actual_ feelings and can’t just turn them off when it’s convenient. Don’t talk about shit you don’t understand. “ Loki is taken aback.

“But we’re relatively safe, for now. If I just tell him-“ Loki tries to say.

“There aren’t any magic words you can say that will _fix him_. If you care about his feelings at all, just give him some time.”

**Cycle 5: Day Three**

On the third day, lake monsters attack.

They look like something out of a bad B movie- humanoid with a body like a rubber suit and heads like a love child of Cuthuhlu and an Ood. It’s not that they’re strong, but their pond-scum bodies let off some kind of vapor that smells like shit and makes everyone but Noh-Varr and Teddy cough up a lung (alien bastards). The lake monsters catch the Young Avengers off-guard, which is why Billy doesn’t realize he’s being grabbed until it’s too late.

Before he knows it, he’s being dragged back into the lake with them. Magic still inconsistent, he reaches for lightning, only to electrocute himself in the process.

He can’t even scream. There’s pain and more pain and the smell of ozone and burnt flesh. The world is out of focus- his hearing is fading in and out-

Right. Water. Conducts electricity. _God Billy, any third grader with a Pokemon game could tell you that_ , he mentally berates himself.

He struggles. He kicks and screams.

He sees Teddy flying through the air, reaching for him and he tries to reach back-

He’s pulled under before they make contact.

As the water rushes into Billy’s lungs, as he coughs and sputters to no avail, he thinks desperately,

_No! I don’t want to be alone again!_

He fades from consciousness.

Billy’s body falls

falls

falls

**Cycle 6: Day One**

Teddy’s room in the Kaplan’s house has a textured plaster ceiling, and that is the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

“What?” He bolts upright in bed, going from groggy half-awake to ‘ _omg-wtf is going on’_ in the three seconds it took to recognize ‘ _this is not where I was’_.

Teddy stares blankly at the Fantastic Four poster across from his bed. Sue Storm’s smiling face stares back at him threateningly.

“ _What_?” he repeats.


	5. Cycle 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teddy thinks he can get them through the day.

**Cycle 6: Day One**

Teddy’s room in the Kaplan’s house has a textured plaster ceiling, and that is the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

“What?” He bolts upright in bed, going from groggy half-awake to ‘ _omg-wtf is going on’_ in the three seconds it took to recognize ‘ _this is not where I was’_.

Teddy stares blankly at the Fantastic Four poster across from his bed. Sue Storm’s smiling face stares back at him threateningly.

“ _What_?” he repeats.

The last thing he remembers is plunging into the lake after Billy. He managed to reach him, he thinks. Teddy remembers closing a scaly hand around his boyfriend’s arm, but then- nothing.

It’s not like closing his eyes one moment and waking up here the next. It’s that he has no idea what span of time has passed since the last thing he remembers.

In an unfamiliar, possibly dangerous situation, Teddy’s impulse is to check on Billy and regroup.

Billy is fast asleep in his bed, his legs tangled in his sheets. As Teddy eases the door open, Billy turns over, getting dangerously close to the edge of his twin-sized bed.

Teddy shakes him awake before he can fall off.

“Get dressed. Text Kate. We’re getting out of here.”

“Teddy?” Billy asks blearily, “You’re awake?”

“Yeah,” Teddy says shortly.

“No, I mean you’re _awake,_ ” Billy says in wonder.

“Yeah, talk later, run now,” Teddy urges, because he’s already lived through this morning once and he does _not_ want to be present in the kitchen this time. To save time, Teddy grabs Billy’s phone as the other boy pulls on pants.

He pulls up contact ‘ Kate ;) ’ and texts “miss u, trouble in nyc, meet behind avngrs mnsn”.

“What are you doing?” Billy asks.

“Getting a ride,” Teddy answers, “You ready?”

A smile blossoms on Billy’s face, “So ready.”

Teddy has climbed in and out of this fire escape dozens of times over the last six months with none of the Kaplans noticing. He is good, quiet, and fast. Mother doesn’t notice they’re gone for at least twenty minutes.

“So when you killed yourself-“ Teddy starts.

“Ugh,” Billy groans, “do we have to talk about this now?”

“-were you trying to end _this_ , or to end, you know, _everything_?” Teddy asks, and while that was vague as fuck, yes Billy does know.

“I was trying to stop Mother.”

“Billy-“

“I was! I just wanted it to be over and I thought it’d work. I’m not- I wouldn’t have done that, otherwise…. You don’t have to worry.”

“Talk to me when it gets that bad, remember?”

“Yeah,” Billy agrees unenthusiastically, “I know.”

They are silent for several minutes as Teddy focuses on flying.

“So we’re meeting Kate in Central Park?” Billy clarifies.

“Yeah. I hope she brings Noh-Varr, or else we’re screwed.”

“I don’t know,” Billy sounds uneasy, “say we get out of the city. If we don’t get caught, Loki doesn’t come to free us. Without Loki, we can’t counterspell America and Noh-Varr’s parents. We don’t do that, they follow and kill us before we can get away.”

“He followed us into Mother’s dimension. I’m pretty sure he can find us in Central Park,” Teddy responds. It’s a good point, except for the part where he tries to predict Loki.

“Thought you didn’t trust him,” Billy mutters to himself. It’s just loud enough for Teddy to hear over the roar of the wind.

“I don’t need to trust him. He admitted last time that he’s after your power, right? This Loki will still want it, and for that you have to be alive.”

“I could have sworn it was over,” is the last thing Billy says before the reach the part of Central Park directly behind the Avengers mansion. It just figures that it took them about as much time to fly through the city as it took Noh-Varr to _fly his spaceship_ to the same location. Not that Teddy is comparing himself to a spaceship- except the part where he totally is.

“Why is Clint telling me that you’re a bad influence and to let the adults make decisions?” Kate says in greeting. She glances down at her phone. The look on her face would be just as appropriate if the screen had suddenly decided to spew maggots. “Is it brain slugs?” Kate asks, “Because I _hate_ brain slugs.”

“Something like that,” Teddy begins.

“-it’s distance-based, so we need to get out of New York before it catches up,” Billy finishes. Other couples share sentences about movies or vacations or favorite foods. Billy and Teddy share exposition.

“Noh-Varr, do you mind dropping a few of my friends off somewhere far, far away?”

“Oh course, Kate Bishop of Earth,” the Kree replies solemnly. He then throws them a toothy smile, which ruins the effect.

“Cool. Get in, losers!” Kate calls to them gleefully.

Noh-Varr’s ship takes off with no sign of trouble. No parents gathering on the ground.

“This isn’t going to work-“ Billy moans in the background. This is a good sign. When things get really hopeless Billy just shuts down. Complaining is leagues better.

A Norse word rings through the spacecraft. Loki appears. He’s a child again rather than the older-teen from last time.

“Hello!” he chirps, “You’re a difficult man to find, Wiccan!”

Billy honest-to-god facepalms. He’s a dork like that.

“And you were worried he wouldn’t show,” Teddy teases.

“Who the hell- Is what Loki?” Kate asks, and does that Hawkeye thing where she narrows her eyes and assesses for danger.

“I see I am expected,” Loki says with an uncertain smile. He’s probably not used to other people knowing more than him for once. This is about the time that Kate pulls a gun on him.

It’s a Kree gun, all white and grey and green and looking mostly like a Nerf weapon. “He’s in charge of the brain slugs?” Kate guesses.

“Probably not,” Teddy admits, although seeing Loki freaked out over being shot at is a pleasant distraction from mortal peril.

“Definitely not!” Loki agrees, “Totes not! I’m _really good now_ ,” he emphasizes. Billy is making an awkward choking sound that is probably laughter.

“That makes little or no sense,” Kate deadpans.

“Incoming!” Noh-Varr warns as something crashes into the ship.

Whoosh! Air rushes into a hole in one side of the cockpit.

Whoosh! Air rushes out the _other_ hole in the cockpit!

Billy is gone. Fuck.

Teddy admits that maybe this would have gone better Billy’s way.

Loki, gripping a seat as if his life depends on it, says “This looks bad, but it is definitely not my fault.”

“Shit,” Teddy curses. Then he jumps, trusting his wings to grow before he hits the ground.

It’s Noh-Varr’s undead father who kidnapped Billy, and Teddy would _swear to god_ that this didn’t happen last time.

An adolescent Skrull hybrid flying on organic wings just can’t keep up with a Kree soldier in a holographic exoskeleton (or whatever), even if the Kree soldier is trying to keep a hold of a flailing wizard simultaneously.

When he isn’t concerned for his boyfriend’s life, Teddy is going to seriously question whether Noh-Varr’s dad is flying through the air through the power of _plasma farts_ , because that’s what it looks like from his vantage point. Teddy is seriously ashamed of being half Kree.

Teddy is losing ground to the Kree. He won’t catch up. He won’t-

He won’t have to.

Miss America swoops down like an avenging angel (or at least like Ms. Marvel) and snatches Billy from the undead parent’s grasp. The ensuing scuffle results in America kicking the guy in the face while Billy just kind of clings to her neck and tries not to fall.

Luckily, the fight slows them all down enough that Teddy manages to catch up.

They don’t defeat Noh-Varr’s father, but America punches him hard enough that he stays down awhile. Billy and Teddy attempt to fill America in as they try to figure out where the ship went.

“Dead parents are coming back because I pissed off an inter-dimensional parasite with a reverse Oedipus complex,” Billy explains, clearly having a lot of practice by this point.

“The plan is: find Noh-Varr’s ship, have Loki do a counterspell, run away,” Teddy adds.

The ship must have landed (or else entered orbit), because there’s no sign on them in the sky.

“There!” Billy leans so far forward to point that America almost drops him. She makes an irritated noise in her throat and hands him to Teddy.

“No magic?” Teddy asks curiously. Usually Billy is perfectly capable of flying under his own power.

“It’s there, it’s just inconsistent,” Billy answers, “I don’t want it to cut out this far up.”

Teddy agrees. Billy would be considerably less attractive as a bloody smear on the ground.

The flash of white Billy spotted turns out to be Noh-Varr’s ship after all. The Kree is sitting on top of it, patting the roof and looking remorseful.

Kate has Loki held up by the front of his shirt and appears to be threatening him. As she notices Teddy and Billy’s return, she puts down the god.

“Everyone alright?” Noh-Varr calls down to them.

“Who’s that?” Kate asks, still glancing back to Loki every few seconds as if he’ll disappear.

“America, Kate. Kate, America.” Teddy gestures from one to the other.

“I didn’t tell you that,” America says suspiciously, which means it’s time to come clean.

“Ok, so we’re stuck in a time loop and we’ve all been through this five times before,” Billy rattles off like a pro.

“That’s not how time travel works,” Kate disputes.

“I’ll lodge that complaint for you when time resets again,” Teddy offers.

“We don’t have time for this, my moms were tailing me here, and you don’t want to be here when they show up,” Miss America warns.

“Loki, can you get rid of the dead parents?” Billy asks.

Loki looks doubtful, “It might be within my abilities, if I had twice the magic or three months to tutor you.”

America looks affronted. “Are you seriously asking Loki for help? He-”

“My power, your knowledge,” Billy clarifies, “can you do it?”

“What did I say in those other timelines?” Loki responds. Billy looks at him grimly. Loki moves his head slightly, as if listening to something, “No, wait. Don’t tell me. I can do it.”

“Great-“ Billy reaches toward Loki. Noh-Varr hits Teddy like a freight train, surprise and Noh-Varr’s military training getting the best of Teddy and allowing the Kree solider to wrestle him to the ground.

“Unless you want to re-enact an intergalactic war, you’ll get off of me,” Teddy hisses at Noh-Varr, who ignores him.

“You’ve got brain slugs,” Kate explains. She’s pushing Billy into the ground with one knee. He went down quick.

“What? No we don’t!”

“You’re babbling nonsense about time travel and you want us to trust Loki. That’s at least as suspicious as Clint’s responsible adult act.”

Teddy imagined that if he and Billy had True Love Telepathy, Billy would be saying “it’s not so easy to survive this, is it?”

Imaginary Billy is an asshole.

“America, you know these things aren’t brain slugs!” Teddy protests to the only person around who hasn’t turned against them (Loki doesn’t count.)

“Doesn’t mean you aren’t brainwashed,” America replies. Billy groans in frustration.

Loki crouches down between the two fallen superheroes.

“You must admit this looks bad,” Loki says casually. America is watching him like a hawk, but she can’t move fast enough to stop him from whispering his teleportation spell.

MJ’S NIGHT CLUB, NEW YORK

Billy and Teddy materialize on the floor without their assailants. Loki stands above them, looking smug.

“No,” Billy breathes.

An employee is asking Loki something, but Teddy is more concerned about Billy, who seems to be having a panic attack in the middle of a night club.

“Breathe Billy,” Teddy reminds him, hovering nearby. He’s torn between the need to comfort him and giving him space. “Do you want to sit down?” Teddy spots an empty table and guides Billy over.

Billy does his breathing exercises.

“Mother will be here any minute, and we just ditched our cavalry,” Billy tells him. “We’re not going to make it.”

They try anyway. Billy loans Loki his power, and for once Loki doesn’t ditch them. He stays and casts his spell, but with only Billy and Teddy channeling the power, they are over-run. One of America’s mothers gets to Loki. The blue magic fizzles out.

Mother catches them.


	6. Cycle 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a nonbinary gender! Loki's pronouns are ze/zir/zir when ze isn't currently a girl. Mostly because those are my pronouns and I want to practice/normalize using them, but also because I feel like this Loki would.

Loki is on fire.

This doesn’t quite compute, and for a moment all ze can think is ‘But I’m not the Loki-who-burned’.

Flames are kissing zir limbs and smoke fills zir lungs, but by the time ze thinks to scream, the pain has gone.

So, apparently, have zir clothes.

“What fresh hell is this?” Loki says to zirself, because it seems appropriate.

“Oh, get over yourself,” Wiccan says. Loki looks up. Lightly curled hair that flops endearingly over one eye, overdramatic red cape that reminds Loki a bit too much of zir brother- yes, that’s definitely Wiccan, looking a lot better than he had last time Loki saw him. Funny, ze didn’t remember how they got away from those lake monsters. Loki _does not like_ not knowing.

Also, Wiccan is totally staring at zir dick. Loki smiles. It’s the little things in life.

“INCOMING!” Hawkeye warns as the swarm of parents surrounds them.

“Ready?” Wiccan asks zir with a smile.

Central Park, swarm of mind-controlled parents? Loki thinks ze has the gist of what is going on.

“Always,” ze agrees.

Then, as expected, Wiccan loans zir the magic.

At low enough temperatures, extreme cold feels the same as extreme heat. Loki burns once more, but this time, ze is in control. Zir new, older body is much stronger, more capable, more durable than the body ze took from zir child-self. The addition of Wiccan’s magic puts that difference to shame.

Ze can leave now. Ze has everything ze came for, everything ze set this con into place to achieve.

Loki is mighty. Loki is powerful. Loki is being reprimanded by a fourteen-year-old dead kid.

_If you leave, you’re a bag full of douches_ , he says.

Many people think of their thought processes as a conversation among disparate parts. Often one party speaks with the voice of a parent or childhood authority figure. Sometimes a best friend or departed companion becomes an internal voice of reason or nagging Id. In this way, the voice of the child-Loki whom this-Loki once killed is speaking.

Except that Loki is a god, so nothing is ever that simple. That which would be a voice in the mind of a mortal takes the form of a ghost for Loki.

_Run, Loki the traitor_ , mocks the voice of the dead child _, isn’t that what you do when someone looks at you with trust?_

This-Loki wants to snap back, to argue, but Wiccan is still within earshot and it’d be best if no one thought Loki was hearing voices. They’d probably assume ze was communing with demons or something (which is silly, Loki needs a spell circle to commune with demons safely).

Loki doesn’t run. While zir first impulse is to save zir own skin, ze’s already tried running and ze knows how that ends. Plus there’s the whole ‘time resetting’ thing going on.

“My wants have proven a poor master,” Loki whispers, because if ze is anything, ze is a slave to drama.

Loki summons the spell circle.

“You-“ Wiccan says. He looks at Loki, puzzled. The tendrils of blue magic reach out from the pentagram to super-charge each of the Young Avengers with the counter-spell’s magic.

“Destroy the parents with as much force as you can muster!” Loki calls to the other teens, “if you can, get the Amerimoms and the Kree first, they need to go down!”

Wiccan doesn’t complete his thought, but instead turns to zap the approaching parents.

They are well within Loki’s ten minute grace period when the last parent explodes into goo, leaving a confused human in its wake.

The Young Avengers individually turn toward the center of their circle, where Loki sits in a circle of magic, grinning at a plan well executed. Blue magic sparks around zir still. Ze has maybe three minutes left.

“I think that went well!” Loki quips. Then, before anyone can answer, ze intones a single word in Norse: “ **Elsewhere**.” The magic covers all six teens and the spaceship, just to show off. There’s no overkill like magical overkill.

Teleporting with Wiccan’s power is quite different than with Loki’s own magic. Loki’s magic involves stepping briefly into the spaces-between and making sure to step _back_ into the place ze wants to go. Wiccan’s magic is brute-force where Loki’s is subtlety. Wiccan’s teleportation is forcing space to fold just right, so that the place you are and the place you want to be are adjacent, then basically pushing himself and any passengers from one fold to the other.

Loki would have liked to coax Wiccan’s magic into different patterns, to go with the current instead of fighting against it. Unfortunately, Loki has no time for that, so ze allows the magic to repeat the patterns it has been taught: rip, tear, push.

The world lurches, and they are in a cave far, far from Mother. The ship fits under the cave ceiling, but just barely. Loki looks around nostalgically.

Ze uses the last of Wiccan’s loaned magic to summon zirself some clothes. As much as ze enjoys making the boy blush, ze also likes not running around naked.

Loki claps zir hands to dispel lingering blue static and quips, “That was fun!”

“You didn’t run.” Wiccan is clearly confused, but doesn’t phrase his statement as a question. Maybe he knows better than to expect an answer.

Loki does a half-assed impression of being hurt.

“Why would I run?” ze asks. _Liar, betrayer_ hisses zir child-self.

“You always run,” Wiccan tells zir, not playing into Loki’s innocent act. “You run, and you come back. But this time you didn’t run at all.”

If Loki was a better person, ze might be more upset that every version of Loki deserts the Young Avengers in their time of need. Mostly, Loki is disappointed that every version of zirself is this predictable.

 “Plan?” Kate asks.

“Same as always: Loki tutors me in magic until I can un-do the spell that brought Mother here.” Loki is really appreciating Wiccan’s exposition habit. If he hasn’t noticed that Loki is along for the time loop ride, ze sees no need to clue him in.

**Cycle 7: Day Two**

Billy may not be a genius, but he’s a smart kid, and he quickly grasps the concepts Loki teaches him.

Circles contain. Lines and shapes focus. Words sharpen that focus, specify it. Magic is words, intent, pattern, _story_.

“Billy, you have power over reality, like the Scarlet Witch before you. When that power is released without guidance, your fears and desires can- well. You know what they can do.”

Loki wasn’t present, but ze has heard the stories.

Wanda Maximoff had howled in anguish and razed three Avengers to the ground, including her husband. Wanda had created the world anew so that mutants wouldn’t be hunted down and accidentally created a dictatorship. Wanda had said three words and destroyed the mutant population. When Billy got overwhelmed, they say his power swallowed an atomic bomb and put a dozen people into magically-induced comas.

That is the power for which Loki brought together the Young Avengers. That is the power ze cannot hold. Maybe, though, ze can still shape its path.

Loki makes another circuit of the clearing, pacing a circle around Billy. It would be a pity to lose the boy to Mother, even without the magic to consider. Wiccan is pleasant to be around. It’s nice to talk to another magic-user, to say nothing of Billy’s sense of humor.

After Loki ends magic practice for the day, the other teens decide that it is Movie Night for ‘team bonding’ purposes.

“We all got killed last cycle because we didn’t trust each other,” Teddy explains. Loki doesn’t see how unexpected lake monsters have anything to do with trust.

“So it wasn’t just Loki selling us out?” Kate asks, but she’s smiling so Loki takes it in stride.

“Nah, actually you and Noh-Varr kicked our asses because you thought we were brainwashed,” Teddy replies. “No hard feelings though, we could have done a better job of explaining.”

And Loki… Loki doesn’t remember any of that. But- Teddy does? _This adds a level of uncomfortable complexity to the situation,_ Loki thinks.

“Let’s map out the timelines you have lived through,” Loki suggests, “so that we might find hints with which to solve your time travel woes.” Loki thinks it is a good excuse. No hint ze knows anything ze shouldn’t, but convincing on its own.

Ze’s shot down.

“Planning later, movies now!” Noh-Varr declares.

And of course, it can’t be simple. Wiccan wants to watch _The Sound of Music_ , Kate wants to see _Kickass 2_ (“What? I liked the comic.”), Noh-Varr votes for _Dreamgirls_ , and both Hulkling and Loki abstain out of self-preservation. America just sort of stares them down until they stop asking her what she wants to watch (“My favorite movies don’t exist in this universe”).

Somehow, they compromise by watching a pirated recording of Wicked.

The quality is terrible, and someone has clearly substituted much of the audio with the official soundtrack, but the teens are engrossed regardless.

“It’s like Teddy and Billy had a baby,” Kate observes as Idina Menzel belts out “The Wizard and I”.

 “I’m only green some of the time, though,” Hulking argues.

“Dreamgirls would have been better,” Noh-Varr says, “but I do like the harmonies.”

“Nah, it’s more like _Loki_ and Teddy-“ Wiccan suddenly realizes what he is saying and stops.

Loki, in zir infinite wisdom, decides to break the awkward silence by shapeshifting into Elphaba.

Ze’s pretty sure it worked. Long black hair falls in zir face, and ze can feel the more subtle changes in zir anatomy. Ze’s still in zir green scalemail costume, though. Loki’s brand of shapeshifting doesn’t affect clothing. Ze smothers a smile and waits for someone to notice.

“It isn’t easy being green,” someone inevitable quips, and when America turns around to tell them “Even I know that joke is overplayed,” she catches sight of Loki.

“What,” America deadpans. Everyone but Noh-Varr turns to look.

“Uh. Loki, why are you a girl?”

Loki smiles and brings zir hands up to zir eyes to study them. They’re still flesh-tone. The smile fades.

“I was _supposed_ to be green,” Loki admits.

“Magic still acting weird?” Wiccan asks in sympathy. “I have _no_ idea what that’s like.” Bitterness comes easily to Wiccan, and Loki stomps the urge to egg it on. _No, bad Loki._ The things ze does for friendship…

“It’s weak, not weird,” Loki says. Shapeshifting doesn’t take that much power. Ze should be able to do this. But somehow, ze’s still Aesir-colored.

Loki throws zir hands up in frustration, only to see that Hulkling has transformed into a copy of Elphaba, green skin, costume, and all.

_‘Show off_ ,’ Loki thinks despite the fact that ze had been trying to do the exact same thing.

“Don’t feel bad,” Hulking offers, “I’ve had a lot more practice turning green lately.”

“Technically, my natural form is blue,” Loki argues _. I_ _should be able to do this_.

“Can you turn into that?” Wiccan wonders. Loki doesn’t try.

Instead, Loki shifts into zir child form. That seems to work. Ze shifts into a copy of Sif’s form, reminiscent of the period where Old Loki had stolen her body. Ze can do that, too. Maybe it’s a memory thing? Maybe zir essence no longer remembers how to shift into something ze is not?

Hulkling has turned back into his human form, apparently not comfortable in an unfamiliar shape for long.

“Ok, so you _can_ shapeshift?” Kate asks.

“It seems I can change my shape into anything, so long as it is me,” Loki answers.

“That doesn’t make sense,” which is quickly becoming Kate’s catchphrase, “That implies that you’re a woman.”

“I am, sometimes,” Loki says casually, shifting back into zir usual form mostly because it fit zir clothing best.

“You… are. sometimes,” America repeats.

“Like Xavin?” Wiccan asks. Loki shrugs.

It’s not exactly right, because Xavin is a Skrull runaway who is in the habit of shifting her body in time with her gender changes, while Loki usually can’t be bothered. However, the comparison is remarkably close, so Loki doesn’t explain further.

“So, what? You wake up one morning and say ‘gee, I feel like a guy today’?” Loki is beginning to think that Kate’s default state is one of incredulity. Or maybe that’s only in relation to Loki.

“You misunderstand. I am sometimes a woman; I am never a man.” People never got that part. They assume that because Loki _looks_ as a man might, that ze must _be_ a man.

Teddy starts to ask about pronouns.

Noh-Varr shushes them so he can hear what Glinda is saying to Elphaba on screen. They watch the rest of the musical in relative peace.

And if Teddy and Loki keep shapeshifting their noses at each other over the back of the couch, well. Everyone else is too engrossed in the movie to notice.

**Cycle 7: Day Four**

While practicing his magic, Billy has either summoned a giant bear, or enlarged an existing one. Loki still isn’t sure which.

Six teens crash through the surrounding forest to get away. Rotting leaves, twigs, and weeds crunch underfoot. Spider webs tangle in Loki’s hair while thorns catch on the cloth of zir pants.

They can each take the giant beast in a fight, but none of them are trained to fight in a forest. Most of Noh-Varr’s training was for battles in space, Loki has little combat experience in zir current body, and everyone else is painfully city-folk. Yes, even America.

But if they can lure the bear into a clearing before it catches them maybe they can-

_Crunch_

Loki is busy running, and thus doesn’t see it happen. Piecing things together later, ze gathers that Noh-Varr had fallen behind, trying to get a clear shot at the bear with his energy gun. The bear got close enough to snap its jaws at him, and Hulkling pushed him out of the way, only to get bitten instead. The bear is so big that it held an entire wing in its jaws. Maybe the punctures wouldn’t have been as bad if the bear hadn’t then jerked its head to the side and ripped the wing out of its socket.

Hulkling screams.

It’s a credit to how recognizable his voice is, and how well-regarded Teddy is within the group that everyone else stops running and immediately attacks, despite the unfamiliar terrain. Loki suspects that if it was zir that was caught, zir teammates would react much differently.

Noh-Varr singes one shoulder before anyone else can get a shot in, but it’s Kate who finally kills it with a shot right through one eye.

America pries its massive jaws open and lifts Hulkling’s wing out.

The green Skrull hybrid lies on the ground, bleeding out. Kate and Noh-Varr jump into action, doing the practical work of cleaning the punctures and keeping pressure on the wounds to keep the bleeding down.

Wiccan is frozen. His lips move, but no sounds come out.

“Wiccan-“ Loki starts to say, because Teddy is a Skrull and they can survive a lot, while Billy is a human and can rip reality apart with one panic attack.

“He’s breathing,” Kate reports from Hulkling’s body.

Wiccan takes off running.

Loki follows.

Wiccan is singularly terrible at running through a forest. He trips several times over exposed roots, and stumbles through a few bushes before he finally falls. Loki finds him there, on his hands and knees on the dirt. He’s facing the ground, and his hair is long enough that it shields his face from that angle.

Loki can’t tell if he is crying, but his labored breathing is consistent with that assumption.

“Teddy is alive,” Loki reminds him.

“Skrulls are incredibly durable,” Billy says, “you’d be amazed at what they can survive. That doesn’t mean he isn’t _hurt_.”

“Then why are you here when your boyfriend is back there?” Loki asks. It’s a rhetorical question. Ze knows why.

Billy answers anyway, “It’s my fault. My magic messed up again.”

Loki tilts zir head, “You’re right. You set a giant bear on your boyfriend. I’m sure Teddy would see it the same way.”

Billy lifts his head up to glare at Loki. “Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, Teddy isn’t going to blame you. What’s the point of being upset?”

“It’s _my fault_. I always do this. I fuck everything up,” Billy insists.

“Well that’s just ridiculous,” Loki tells him. Billy is unconvinced.

“No one asked you.”

Loki swallows a sigh and sits down next to Billy. The forest is much nicer when they aren’t running for their lives. The sun is shining through the trees, dappling the ground in light. Several birds are chirping and tweeting, creating a combination of sounds that are pleasant enough, Loki supposes. If one likes that sort of thing.

Loki notices that Billy‘s breathing has evened out. When Billy’s hands finally stop trembling, Loki speaks again:

“We aren’t going to get far in teaching you magic if you react this way after every mistake.”

“Do all my mistakes have to be life-threatening?” Billy grumbles.

Loki smiles and helps Billy up.

“With great power comes greater fuck-ups,” Loki tell him. Billy doesn’t smile, but Loki thinks that maybe he wants to.

“Why’d you come after me?” Billy asks as they walk back to camp.

“Honestly? We don’t know why the world is resetting or what will make it stop, so we can’t take the chance that this is the last cycle. Also I do not want to encourage bad habits.”

“You thought I’d try to kill myself to reset time.”

“You’ve done it before.”

Billy stops walking.

“I didn’t tell you that.”

“Oh, but you did.” Loki’s grin is all teeth.

“You- how long?” Billy demands.

“The cycle with the Lovecraft monsters, and half of this one,” Loki admits. “But nothing before you aged me up, and there was at least one cycle between those two that I don’t remember, wasn’t there?”

Billy looks thoughtful. “Hm. Yeah, just the one. It was a clusterfuck though. You didn’t miss much.”

Teddy is awake when they make it back to camp.

Loki never finds out what ends this cycle. All ze knows is that Billy and Teddy snuck out one night a week after the bear incident, and then-

**Cycle 8: Day One**

Loki is on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out [Pronoun Learning](http://pronounlearning.tumblr.com/index) for more info on alternative pronouns, or look up a [pronoun chart](http://whatdoesenbymean.tumblr.com/post/56721364995/cairo-overcoat-gendersmall-for-anyone-too) for conjugation help.


	7. Cycle 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy wouldn't power Loki up again without a great reason, right?

_All ze knows is that Billy and Teddy snuck out one night a week after the bear incident, and then-_

**Cycle 8: Day Three**

Loki is on fire.

It’s unexpected, because _how the hell did Billy manage to die this time, we were fine_!

Once the fire fades, Loki immediately summons clothing. While ze usually wouldn’t mind being nude, Billy has been an idiot and gotten himself killed again, so he doesn’t deserve a free show.

“What’s the plan?” ze asks Billy, who is sitting in a circle of candles. They’re inside Noh-Varr spaceship, which gives Loki a clue of where they are in the cycle.

“Mother got Teddy,” Billy says wearily.

Loki curses. Mother is smart enough to use Teddy as bait for the real prize, but not patient enough for that to be comforting. If they go in, maybe Billy could barter his power for Teddy’s life, but Mother doesn’t seem like the type to let them go alive either way.

And anyway, Billy can’t give his power to Mother. Not only would Mother assimilating Billy’s reality-bending powers be _terribad_ , it would not further Loki’s plans at all. Their story will have a happier ending than this.

Loki asked zirself: _what do I have_?

The Young Avengers, a Kree ship, a baby Demiurge, and zir own moderate magical strength (not counting zir missing power, which had _not_ mysteriously reappeared as Loki had half-heartedly hoped it would). And, of course, a brain and a mouth that never shut up.

Ze asked zirself: _what do I want_?

MOTHER’S DIMENSION

The Young Avengers (minus Loki) do not react well to the revelation that America can kick holes in reality.

There is all manner of gaping and stunned faces, and it’s Kate who manages to say, “Who are you?”

“Your ticket to the Multiverse, Princess,” America says. She’s giving Kate a particularly flirtatious look, but Loki doesn’t think Kate has yet noticed.

America and Noh-Varr are clearly competing for ‘best use of dramatic one-liner’.

America closes her portal behind her, and not a moment too soon. Mother has noticed their arrival.

Teddy is

Teddy is a chair.

Mother has somehow- she’s a _reality warper_ , that’s how- hijacked Hulkling’s shape-shifting abilities to transform him into a grotesque parody of a throne. There are limbs and tendrils everywhere. Teddy’s head is silently screaming.

Loki thinks ze might be ill.

 _You murdered a child, and this is what creeps you out?_ asks Loki’s child-self.

Loki thinks ze _will_ be ill.

“You have something of ours,” Noh-Varr announces.

“Oh, this?” Mother gestures to Teddy, “It’s just something I picked up.”

“Mother!” Loki exclaims, “Wonderful to see you again! I’ve brought you a present.” Ze walks forward and gestures to Billy with a flourish. Billy’s eyes widen. Loki turns back to Mother before the confusion in his eyes turns to horror.

“It’s not a present when it’s rightfully mine,” Mother growls, “you cheated on our deal.”

“That’s a bit unfair. I led him to you fair and square; I even let you dig your magic into him. That’s what we agreed.”

“You interfered!”

“And yet here I am now, delivering Wiccan to you.” Loki makes no move to explain further.

“You’re an opportunistic vulture,” Mother observes, matter-of-fact.

“I aim to please,” Loki replies. With a swoop of zir hand, a green pentagram appears beneath the Young Avengers’ feet. The green magic locks them in place. It’s not terribly strong, and it won’t hold them for long. Loki will have to make this quick.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Loki tells the Young Avengers, “I’m terribly evil. I’m the God of Lies. I probably steal cable, jaywalk, and/or pirate movies illegally on the interwebs. I am Loki. When given the opportunity, I always run.” Ze gives Billy a smile that is more challenge than amusement.

“I expect you want something in return?” Mother asks zir.

Loki’s smile goes razor-sharp. Ze paces toward Mother, circling like a vulture. Or a magpie.

“Bygones. I leave you the Demiurge, you stop warping reality to try to kill me.”

Mother gives Loki a patronizing look. She’s rather good at it. “I haven’t been doing anything of the sort- well, other than my lovely PTA. If you can’t handle life on the run, that’s your own problem.”

Loki’s face remains impassive, but ze is stunned. _No! It has to be her! That’s the only way that sense! Monsters that have no business being around, all the bad luck! From Wiccan’s accounts of the other timelines, it’s clear that a reality warper was behind most of his deaths. But then- ?_

“Hm, well this is embarrassing,” Loki tells her. Zir pacing has brought zir very close to Mother now, close enough that she could reach out and choke the young god.

Or close enough for Loki to touch Teddy.

Loki lets zir eyes wander to the space behind Mother’s left shoulder. Ze lets a small smile tug at zir lips.

Mother whirls around to block an attack that isn’t there. Sometimes it pays to be expected of backstabbing.

Instead, Loki whispers “Un-chair Teddy!” in Norse, kicks Mother in the shins, and drag’s Teddy’s newly-humanoid form away in the space of several seconds. _Ah, the good old look-behind-you routine_ , Loki thinks, _always a classic_.

The spell holding the Young Avengers fails.

“Any time!” Loki shouts to America, who stomps the floor to create a star-shaped portal to, oh, anywhere but here.

Six figures drop through the portal. It shines for a moment, a pearly white star suspended twenty feet above the ground, before it closes.

Loki falls onto damp grass, and struggles to stand back up. Miss America immediately pushes zir back down.

“What is your deal!” America demands. “You sold us out to Mother!”

“It was a trick,” Loki defends.

“No! You sold Billy out before. You told her where he was!”

“And then I rescued him,” Loki says with a shrug, “I think that makes us even.”

“Even? You just tried to do it again!” Loki is amazed, because this is the most ze’s ever heard America speak.

“Did you go in planning to save Teddy,” Billy demands, “or was that you covering your ass?”

This is the worst part of a plan. Loki hates explaining it afterward. No one ever believes zir.

 _Poor baby_ , child-Loki murmurs, _I wonder why no one will trust you?_

“You think I’d just _hand_ a reality-warper over to the likes of her? Give me some credit. If all I wanted was to escape her tricks, I’d just leave you here,” The trick, Loki knows, is to not oversell your virtue. No one would believe Loki to be heroic, but selfish and greedy? Absolutely.

“You lied to Mother,” Kate observes. She’s fingering her bow like some students play with pens.

“God of lies. Ze tends to do that,” Billy says in relief.

“I am Loki. I always run.”

“-And you come back,” Billy finishes with a smile.

Teddy hits Loki playfully on the shoulder. “If your lies are always going to be this helpful, you can feel free to keep it up.”

Loki smiles widely _._

 _I AM THE CRIME THAT WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN_ , screams the voice of the child ze murdered.

LATER:

Billy lets the subject drop for only a few hours before he asks the inevitable question.

“What’s the Demiurge?”

Loki’s eyes lock with America. She frowns and shakes her head slightly.

“Oh, nothing important,” Loki says lightly.

“It’s why Mother wants me. Sounds pretty important,” Billy argues.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” Loki tries, “You’ll find out later.”

“That’s not very convincing, coming from you.”

“Wait, hold up,” America shakes her head as if clearing out intrusive thoughts, “Is this why you’re still sticking around, Loki? Hoping to tame your own pet Demiurge?” Loki makes a face at her.

“ _What. Is. A. Demiurge_?” Billy demands.

“A god-like magic user that puts my divinity to shame. You’re interdimensional magic Jesus with time at your beck and call. You are a bored teenager and the multiverse is your own personal game of Sims,” Loki admits. “But it’s no big deal.”

“How the hell is that ‘ _no big deal’_?”

“You could be the most important person in reality,” America tells Billy, “But so could lots of people. Don’t read too much into it.”

America refuses to say more, and Loki follows her lead.

**Cycle 8: Day Four**

Teddy comes to Loki the next morning when the others are still sleeping off the excitement of the past few days.

He stops in his tracks. Loki’s female form isn’t actually all that different from her usual one. Her shoulders are only slightly thinner, her hips slightly wider, her hair hitting her chin instead of her cheekbones. In either form, Loki is sleek and powerful.

“Girl today?” Teddy asks.

“It seemed time for a change,” Loki explains between bites of a Poptart.

“I heard about Lady Loki a few years back, but I didn’t realize it was a regular thing.”

“Oh no, that was different. Old Loki stole Sif’s body, it’s a long story. I don’t think-“ she pauses to chew thoughtfully, “Old Loki sometimes took female form, but I don’t think he was ever really a girl.”

Loki’s not sure that made sense, but Teddy nods in understanding.

“Right. I can look like Spiderman or Elphaba all I want, but I’m not them.” Loki smiles. It’s nice to know other shape-shifters.

Loki offers Teddy a Poptart. They eat in silence for a time.

“What did you mean about Mother trying to kill you?” Teddy asks.

Loki had just been digging for information from Mother, really. But how to explain…

“You and Billy have been through a lot as Young Avengers. You’ve survived vivisection, a Skrull invasion, a handful of time paradoxes, and several dozen attacks by super-powered enemies. So why is it so hard for you to survive Mother’s attention?” Loki asks.

Teddy doesn’t answer. He’s looking intently at Loki, either considering what she’s said or trying to determine her motives.

“Billy’s magic is almost certainly the reason that time is looping back,” Loki continues, curving one hand into an arch to demonstrate. “But why does it need to loop? Why does Billy keep dying?” Loki’s other hand joins the first, forming a circle. “There’s another force trying to kill him. Us. Time loops aren’t natural effects of time travel, they aren’t stable and shouldn’t be able to happen. But a reality warper doesn’t need to follow the rules of time travel, does he? Two forces locked in a stalemate of creation and destruction,” Loki collapses the circle in, clasping her hands together. “I assumed the destructive force was Mother, trying to flush us out of hiding. If it’s not her-” Loki trails off deliberately. She locks eyes with Teddy.

“She could’ve been lying.”

“Maybe.” It’s possible, but Loki doubts it.

“Is there a way to tell?”

Loki considers this, wiping crumbs off her face. A way to tell if Mother is controlling the bad luck…

“Well we can always defeat Mother and see if our luck continues.”

“Yeah I’m sure that’d be a great idea if we had any way to actually do that.”

“Alright, alright. If we can get out of Mother’s reach for awhile, we can see if she’s controlling our misfortune. I just need your help with something.” Loki smiles, leaning low on her knees and grinning at Teddy from below arched eyebrows. She looks like trouble. Teddy is interested.

“Why me?”

“If _I_ suggest it, America’s sure to say no.”

And so Teddy is the one to propose the plan to the other Young Avengers: to use America’s portals, rather than Noh-Varr’s ship to find a safe place to regroup. Mother’s reach is dependent on her anchors in their dimension. If they skip to another dimension entirely, she shouldn’t be able to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it isn't clear, Loki is only aware of the time loop when she's teen!Loki as opposed to being kid!Loki. 
> 
> Loki doesn't have to change her form when she switches genders, but she has this time. There are other times she doesn't.


	8. Cycle 8, continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an effort to avoid Mother, the Young Avengers go on a trip through the multiverse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Character death, gun violence, mood whiplash, quick mention of incest

**Interlude**

**Multiverse Adventure: Take One: Noh-Varr**

**Cycle 8: Day Six**

“Whoa, what happened here?” Teddy hisses as they exit the portal. The city is in ruins. Actual ruins. There’s signs of destruction: human remains and scorched brick, but also signs of the passage of time. Weeds are growing among fallen walls and rusting cars.

“This looks like Kree architecture,” Noh-Varr says idly. “We must be somewhere in the Kree empire.”

“My favorite,” Teddy groans, retreating from his green Skrull-like battle form.

“Guys!” Kate calls to the others, squatting next to a weathered statue of a humanoid. The others walk over, scattering debris with every step.

“Don’t you think that looks like…” Loki trails off. They all stare at the statue.

“Everybody back in the bus!” Billy yells.

“Call me that again, you see what happens!” America yells back, kicking a portal into the crumbling wall beside her.

Loki chuckles. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” ze says, and ruffles Billy’s hair before following America out.

Billy looks over at Kate.

“Loki keeps doing that. Is ze flirting with me or being patronizing?”

Kate shrugs at her best friend. “Probably a little bit of both.”

Billy purses his lips. They walk together into the glowing star-portal.

“It would have looked better with a beard,” Noh-Varr complains as he glances back one last time at the statue standing in New York City, the former capitol of the Kree Empire.

**Multiverse Adventure: Take Two: Wiccan**

**Cycle 8: Day Seven**

They meet Alternate-Wiccan hiding out in Kansas with Speed. He’s still wearing his old costume with the headband and the ragged cape, which Teddy remembers fondly as ‘the costume that made Billy look like an anime character’. This-Billy’s cape is more ragged than Teddy remembers, and now that he thinks about it, Speed looks pretty threadbare, too.

Kate asks them what they’re running from.

Speed answers, “Everyone. The Avengers didn’t take well to Billy here taking out a bunch of Nazis back in NYC. Bunch of hypocrites.”

“And by ‘take out’, you mean kill,” America guesses.

Speed shrugs, as if the details don’t matter.

Billy’s double spends the whole time staring at Teddy.

The team leaves soon after.

**Multiverse Adventure: Take Three: Kate**

**Cycle 8: Day Nine**

**“** Welcome to the Triskelion, S.H.I.E.L.D’s primary headquarters,”Kate’s double announces as they are marched inside the tower. Billy looks sidelong at the uniformed men and women that form their ‘honor guard’. “Don’t mind the agents,” not-Kate says pleasantly, “They’re here for insurance.”

Billy doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like the cut of their uniforms or the look on not-Kate’s face or the fact that they still don’t know where America is.

“Say the word, and we’re gone,” Loki whispers, wiggling her painted fingers in an allusion to magic.

“Not without America,” Billy hisses back.

“We’ll find your friend,” Not-Kate assures them with a smirk. Real Kate is leaning heavily on Noh-Varr’s shoulder, powering through the tranquilizer she was shot with not an hour ago.

“Commander Garret has a guest room prepared,” a nameless agent reports as they enter an elevator. Teddy is amazed they all fit.

“Why S.H.I.E.L.D?” Billy asks as the elevator moves. He can’t really tell if they’re going up or down.

“I admire their mission,” she answers as the doors open. This floor seems to consist of a dead-end hallway with no doors or windows. Billy walks out of the elevator cautiously. Will the doors appear as they get close? Is it magic, or advanced technology?

“I’m sorry about this, Billy,” not-Kate says. Her face is artificially blank, so it might even be true. “Hail Hydra.” She presses a button on the console and the door slides shut, sealing them in.

“No!” Teddy wails, slamming suddenly-green hands against the door. There’s a slight dent, like the mark on your dad’s car you hope he won’t notice.

Loki starts to cast a spell, but Billy pushes her hands back down, “ _No_ ,” Billy insists, “ _Not. Without. America_!”

_BAM!_

The wall behind them crumples like used wrapping paper.

“I’m here,” America announces. Her lip is bloody, and her cut-off sweater looks more like a scarf at this point.

An alarm begins to blare, but they are gone by the time the Hydra guards arrive.

**Multiverse Adventure: Take Four: Dorrek**

**Cycle 8: Day Thirteen**

America’s portal lets out just outside Jacksonville, Florida. It’s approximately as hot as balls out, Teddy can’t even see the bugs that are biting him, and the humidity is so high that the air is just short of being mist.

The distant sound of cars hints at a highway off in the distance, but the Young Avengers have had enough excitement to last them a week. Each of them is a little afraid of what they might find if they wander too close to civilization, so by unanimous vote, they hunker down in the first cheap motel they find.

Their supply of cash is running low, and they shoot down Loki’s offer to go pick someone’s pocket for more, so six young adults are stuck in a room with two queen beds, two uncomfortable chairs, and a closet-sized bathroom that smells strongly of mold.

Kate, Billy, and Teddy are nominated to pay at the front desk while the others go out in search of vending machines to raid. They arrive at the room with eight bags of miscellaneous chips, two small packages of cookies, four cans of Cherry Coke, and a styrofoam cup of coffee (held by Loki).

It’s not much, and they’ll have to find something more substantial in the morning, but for now even the junk food is welcome.

They all look uneasily at the two beds, and at each other.

In an attempt to put off dividing them up, someone suggests they play a game.

“Truth or dare?” Loki asks with an air of practiced innocence.

“Never Have I Ever?” offers Billy.

“Two truths and a lie?”

“Is there a game where it won’t matter that Loki is just going to make shit up?” Kate asks the room as a whole.

And that, dear readers, is how Young Avengers ends up playing “Bed, Wed, or Dead” in a La Quinta Inn in the middle of the night.

Noh-Varr and America aren’t familiar with the game, and Loki’s haphazard and sometimes downright bizarre pop-culture education apparently didn’t include party games, so Kate has to explain it to them.

“The name of the game is ‘bed, wed, or dead’,” Kate begins with the air of a Las Vegas cardshark. “The first player suggests three names to the player to their left. The second player then has to decide which of the three they would want to fuck (bed), marry (wed), or kill (dead). You have to answer for all three suggestions and you can’t double-up. The second player then suggests three names to the player on their left, and so on. I don’t give a shit if you lie on this one Loki, it’ll be funny either way. Any questions?”

“Suggested strategies?” Noh-Varr asks.

Teddy answers, “if you want to be mean, pick either three people your victim really likes or three people they hate. If you want to make things awkward, choose people we all know. If you want to make it awkward for _everyone_ , pick people in the room.”

Kate starts. “Billy: Tony Stark, Halle Berry, and Johnny Depp.”

“Marry Iron Man for his money, bed Halle Berry, and kill Johnny Depp,” Billy rattles off.

“You’d kill Johnny Depp?” Teddy asks in horror. Billy shrugs, unrepentant.

Billy is sitting next to Noh-Varr, and there’s a short discussion of who Noh-Varr is even familiar with. His pop-culture knowledge and Billy’s have very little overlap, so he’s left with real people.

“Jessica Jones, Wolverine, or dude-Hawkeye?” Billy asks, and that’s how the Young Avengers find out that Noh-Varr doesn’t balk at sex with men.

Teddy gets “Diana Ross, Norman Osborne, and Thor”.

Loki groans and tries to institute a new rule that relatives are off-limits. Ze is ignored, and after answering (bed Diana Ross, wed Thor, kill Osborne), Teddy turns to Loki and says “same question.”

Loki crosses zir arms. “Ah, so I’m stuck between incest and filicide?”

“Yes.”

“Wed Norman Osborne, bed Diana Ross, and kill Thor. He’d probably get better,” Loki answers as ze nonchalantly leans across Teddy’s lap to grab at the chips piled beside him. Teddy blushes, and Billy’s eyes linger on Loki for the rest of the game.

In a moment of vindictiveness, Loki suggests “Doctor Doom, Billy, and Mother” to America, and that is how the Young Avengers find out that America Chavez is a lesbian.

The party game does its job, and by morning the Young Avengers have fallen asleep draped across the two beds, piled together like a litter of puppies.

**Cycle 8: Day Fourteen**

Billy wakes up at 10am, and has to carefully extract himself from between America and Kate so he can use the bathroom. Teddy is awake when he finishes, so the two boys sneak off to find breakfast before the others wake.

The surrounding businesses are mostly fast food, gas stations, and check-cashing places, so their options are limited. With their budget, they end up choosing a McDonalds for the opportunity of warm food.

“Is it weird to notice that Loki’s new body is kinda hot?” Billy asks as they wait for their coffee to cool.

“Yeah, probably.” The two boys lock eyes.

“But ze _is_ though, right?”

“Absolutely,” Teddy answers.

Billy takes a bite of a breakfast sandwich that contains something he’d like to think is egg. “ Should I take that as a compliment?”

“Definitely. Your magic is hot.” Teddy reaches across the table to grab Billy’s hand.  Billy smiles, bites his lip, and picks up the sandwich with his other hand.

“I was going more for ‘Teddy’s type is brunette magic-users’, but I’ll take it.”

“Oh. That too.” Teddy risks a sip of his coffee. He winces as it burns his tongue.

“Seriously though, I wonder if he did that on purpose.”

“Wait so you didn’t control what he looks like-?”

“Uh, not as far as I know.” Billy takes another bite of his sandwich thoughtfully. It _tastes_ like egg…

“Billy,” Teddy says urgently.

“I’m serious, you think I actually took the time to think up how to make Loki hot?”

“Billy, the TV.” Teddy is staring at a television that’s mounted to the ceiling of the restaurant. It’s on mute, but the closed captioning declares that “Dorrek VIII negotiates historic treaty between Kree and Skrull-“

“Oh.”

“He did it. Billy, he really did it.”

“Jeeze, you really are perfect. Even your evil twin can’t be bothered to do actual evil,” Billy says fondly.

“Maybe I’m the evil twin,” Teddy says uncertainly. “I’m the one ignoring my responsibility.”

“What-? Teddy, you’re from Earth. You grew up here. You belong here, not in space fixing the Skrull’s problems for them. Where is this even coming from?”

“He’s me, Billy. He’s out there saving hundreds of lives. Isn’t that what a hero is supposed to do?” Teddy takes another sip of coffee for the sake of having something to do. It burns his throat going down.

Billy squeezes Teddy’s hand and looks him in the eyes.

“You’ve been telling us this all week, so now I’m going to tell you: this guy is not you. He made different choices than you did, but we have no idea what those choices are. We don’t know what the divergence point was for this universe and ours. Who this guy is, what he’s done? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change who you are.”

**Multiverse Adventure: Take Five: Loki Odinson**

**Cycle 8: Day Eighteen**

They run through three post-apocalyptic wastelands before they make it to New York again.

This New York looks a lot like their own, complete with construction crews crawling the streets trying to repair the damage from some super-villain attack or another.

It’s familiar enough that Billy runs off down the street, excited to see if his favorite restaurant exists in this world. Teddy runs after him, dodging pedestrians and benches just for the joy of running.

It would be easy to let fighting for your life leach all the fun out of simple athletic pleasures. Teddy is glad he hasn’t reached that point yet.

Kate takes one look at them and decides to take the high road.

In this case, it means she follows them by jumping on benches, running along low walls, and occasionally using street lamps to brace herself in a bizarre version of “the floor is lava”.

Somehow, Loki takes that as a challenge. Ze and Kate race along the street, swift feet never touching the ground. Kate vaults onto a metal fence, uses her momentum to reach a concrete planter, and chances a glimpse at her competitor.

Kate swears she sees Loki run _up_ a vertical wall, which is _clearly cheating_ , but it doesn’t matter because she beats the god anyway, arriving at the fountain at the end of the street well before Loki does.

And by arriving _at_ the fountain, it means Kate arrived _on_ the fountain.

“I’m still getting used to this form,” Loki says loftily, as if that’s a reasonable excuse for losing to Kate. Loki is clearly full of shit.

Meanwhile, Noh-Varr is incredibly distracted by the phenomenon of New York street performers.

The white-haired Kree stands in front of a scruffy middle aged man with a guitar. The music coming from the instrument and the man’s mouth is so entrancing that Noh-Varr doesn’t care that several frustrated New Yorkers push and shove at him until he is no longer in their way.

“I think I am in love,” Noh-Varr says in wonder to America.

She rolls her eyes, but stays where she is beside him, enjoying the music. It’s nothing America hasn’t seen before in her wandering about the multiverse, but it’s different with friends to share it with. Better, even.

Noh-Varr studies the performer, with his scruffy beard and ripped jeans. He rubs his chin thoughtfully.

-

Billy finds a pizza place where his favorite deli would be on Earth-616. Teddy catches up easily, because after a summer of clandestine crime-fighting, Teddy is in much better shape than Billy is. Billy would be more upset about this, but _Teddy’s abs, though_!

New York pizza isn’t quite what Billy is looking for, but once he smells it, he knows he won’t be able to resist.

“Pizza is worth it, right?” Billy asks, trying to rationalize using up more of their dwindling cash on greasy cheesy goodness.

“Pizza is _so_ worth it,” Teddy agrees.

While they wait for their pizza to be made (Veggie lovers, because meat toppings aren’t kosher), Teddy takes the plunge.

“So you know how Luke Cage is your exception?” Teddy asks to introduce the topic.

When they first started dating, Teddy and Billy spent an entire night on the floor of the Young Avengers hideout looking up photos of hot superheroes on their phones. What started with a simple question (‘Captain America or Thor?’) quickly became a game, with each boy trying to find the best picture to back up his claim of ‘hottest superhero ever’.

Along with great memories and a fondness for spandex, that night also birthed the One Exception Rule. Born from a mutual appreciation of unattainable superheroes, the One Exception Rule decrees that if, by some miracle, either Billy or Teddy ever got the chance to get with one such unattainable superhero (whose specific identity was mutually agreed-upon before the fact), they could act on it without it being considered ‘cheating’.

The actual conversation went more like this:

TWO YEARS AGO, EARTH-616: ABANDONED AVENGERS MANSION

“I swear, have you seen Spiderman? He’s like 180 lbs of pure smooth muscle. I mean seriously, have you seen his ass?”

“I can’t compete with that ass,” Billy admits. “But no one can compete with Thor’s biceps. Not Captain America, not Captain Marvel _, no one_.”

“I don’t know, have you seen Luke Cage?” Teddy angles his phone screen toward Billy. Billy leans in close. His eyes widen.

“Oh my _God_.”

PRESENT DAY, ALTERNATE NEW YORK, PIZZARIA

The two boys fall silent as a waitress delivers their pizza. Teddy smiles at her, she refills their glasses, and she moves on.

“Yeah,” Billy belatedly answers, “And your exception is Spiderman, what about it?”

“What if my exception was Loki?” There’s a silence in the wake of Teddy’s question. His stomach drops in anticipation of Billy’s reaction. The pizza begins to look less appetizing.

“Seriously?” Billy asks after a pause. He doesn’t sound angry, just incredulous. Like he can’t tell if Teddy is joking or not and he’s not sure how he feels either way.

“It’s weird,” Teddy begins, because he can’t just leave it here, he needs Billy to understand, “I mean we’ve heard about Loki-the-villain all our lives. He brought the Avengers together all those years ago, he’s one of their main enemies. He’s like the Lex Luthor of the real world, just with magic instead of money. And I know all of those things. But meeting this Loki, it’s like… Like Jonas. Jonas was the Vision. He had all of the right knowledge, but without all of the experience. So even though the Vision was kind-of-maybe your dad, Jonas wasn’t. Loki seems like that. Ze knows what the Old Loki did, but ze’s just a stupid kid like us. Ze didn’t even know how to play Bed, Wed, or Dead. Loki’s pretending to be this evil mastermind when ze’s really just trying to figure shit out.”

“What makes you think that’s not a trick?”

“Ze can turn into Elphaba now. Ze can only shapeshift into forms that are _Loki_ , but ze can turn into Elphaba.”

Billy takes a bite of pizza, giving himself an excuse to be silent as he thinks this through.

“And don’t tell me that _you,_ of all people, would pass up the opportunity to sleep with a Norse god,” Teddy asks with a grin. He’s made his case. That Billy is taking him seriously is a credit to how much they trust each other. No matter what they decide as a couple, nothing will threaten that bond.

“Yeah, he’s- ze’s- hot and funny,” Billy admits, “and I get it, ze’s charismatic, it’s like a superpower. But do we trust Loki enough for this?”

“It’d take more than a god of mischief to break us up.” Teddy slides out of his chair to squeeze next to Billy in the booth. He leans in and presses his lips to Billy’s cheek. Billy takes Teddy’s face in his hands and ups the ante. Billy tastes like cheese and tomatoes and Teddy loves it.

“We’re sickening,” Teddy mentions happily when they come up for air.

“Mm, yeah. Could we get any gayer?”

“Not in quality, but maybe in quantity.”

Billy laughs and kisses him again.

TIMES SQUARE, ALTERNATE NEW YORK, TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Foiling a super-villain attack is a welcome break from their multiverse quest, and isn’t that a commentary on the ridiculousness of their life?

“Metaphor!” Kate yells as Teddy flies past her on green bat wings.

“Hulk!” Captain America calls as he runs up to Teddy. He skids to a halt and- wow. Captain America is so _young_ in this world! Like, mid-20s tops. “You’re not the Hulk,” he says, sounding a little lost, but not vulnerable. It makes sense in Teddy’s head.

“I’ll say,” replies another voice and hey- when did Black Widow get here? Black Widow looks ageless at the best of times, but somehow this version of her manages to look younger than ageless. Alternate dimensions. Weird.

“I’m Hulkling,” Teddy says in greeting, and holds a hand out to shake.

“Holy shit, it talks!” comes a familiar, computer-modulated voice. Of course Iron Man would be here.

“ _He_ has a name,” Billy shoots back at Iron Man, and Teddy can’t keep the dopey smile off of his face at hearing his boyfriend defend him to an actual Avenger. Black Widow gives him a look, probably calculating how to kill him. Teddy isn’t worried.

Captain America shakes his hand, because he’s decent like that.

“Who are you supposed to be?” Iron Man asks as Billy descends to meet them. Lightning crackles around him, probably intentionally called in an attempt to freak out Iron Man. “Are you Thor’s illegitimate son or something?” he guesses. In the background, America makes a gagging motion. Teddy has a newfound appreciation for Loki’s people skills.

“You guys suck!” Kate yells in betrayal as she finishes off the last Doombot. “It’s like you’ve never fought a Doombot before!”

“That’d be because we haven’t.” Black Widow points out, reasonably.

“That’s… weird,” Kate apparently can’t even form a description of how _wrong_ that is.

“Captain America, Black Widow, Iron Man,” Teddy starts, “Meet Wiccan, Hawkeye (not the Hawkguy), Noh-Varr, Miss America Chavez, and-“ a patch of glitter in the air slowly becomes Loki as zir cloaking spell wears off.

“Ugh, bad taste, cosplay-boy,” Iron Man drawls, “your creepy unwashed idol just made New York his personal stress ball not even a month ago.”

Loki looks affronted. Teddy isn’t sure which part of ‘cosplay-boy’ is a bigger insult.

“Uh, no-“ Billy corrects, “that’s _actually_ Loki.”

This is the wrong thing to say.

Black Widow twitches, and Teddy is so focused on what she’ll do that he doesn’t see the explosive arrow that lands at Loki’s feet.

Billy and Loki are thrown to the ground by proximity to the blast. Loki is cursing up a storm in Norse, presumably (ze sure isn’t reciting their _shopping list_ ).

Teddy’s first thought is ‘what the hell, Kate?’, but then he remembers that she’s been using the Kree soul-bow since they left New York, so it can’t have been her.

Teddy didn’t even _see_ Hawkeye during the fight! No fair! Kate is yelling something, trying to reason with them, and Captain America’s voice joins hers in an effort to dissuade his teammates from knee-jerk violence.

Loki lifts one of zir hands and starts a spell, which is apparently the only excuse Black Widow needs.

She pulls out a handgun.

Not even Loki can out-run a bullet. Certainly not three.

The Young Avengers stand frozen. Guns aren’t really part of their world, lasers and shape-shifters and telepaths seems much more reasonable than the idea that one of their own has just been shot.

Loki’s moan is high, whining.

Teddy never wanted to hear Loki make a noise like that.

There’s so much blood.

Teddy lunges for Loki (zir body, Loki’s _body_ ), and tries to do something, anything. He hunts around for cloth to hold against the wound. His own costume is not real fabric, created by his body’s shapeshifting. Loki’s costume is more leather and metal than cloth. Teddy doesn’t know what to do.

Loki makes a keening sound. There are tears in zir eyes. Teddy finds he can’t look away.

Billy appears at his side, shoving his cape at Teddy, “Here!”

Teddy holds it tightly against Loki’s body, not sure it will help but equally unsure of what else to do.

Billy kneels at Loki’s side, chanting “I want Loki to live, I want Loki to live, IwantLokitolive, _IwantLokitolive-“_

They wait anxiously for the spell to work, for the bleeding to stop.

It doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Interlude Take 5 takes place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Take 3 is set in a universe very similar to Agents of SHIELD, post-Hydra infiltration. The others are just what-ifs.
> 
> I wanted to give the team some time to bond, give Billy some time to breathe between fighting for his life, and a chance for Billy and Teddy to finally acknowledge that they're both beginning to crush on Loki. They're a strong couple, and I needed to show that they're honest with each other and there's enough trust there to weather Teddy's suggestion. But this fic is more adventure than shipping, so don't count on their decision bearing fruit immediately.


	9. Cycle 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time always resets when Billy dies- but will Loki's memory survive zir death? Billy and Teddy are afraid to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does not start with a character waking up at the start of a new cycle. We've skipped a bit ahead.

**Cycle 9: Day Three**

Teddy’s not comfortable letting Loki out of his sight after what happened in New York, but it’s not like he can keep zir here when the kid doesn’t even remember dying in the first place.

It isn’t his Loki, anyway. Pre-teen Loki isn’t the one who played stupid games with them and fought by his side. Pre-teen Loki didn’t sit with him and tell him about Jotun shapeshifting magic. This isn’t the Loki who gently touches Teddy’s knee and sometimes can be caught staring longingly after Billy. This isn’t the Loki who died in his arms in New York.

Teddy is quietly terrified that he might never see that Loki again. There’s just so much he doesn’t know about this time loop thing. What if Loki’s memories died with zir last loop? What if they’re stuck with Loki-the-child now, Loki-the-stranger?

Loki the trickster, who smiled a mocking half-smile and told them that ze was leaving to try and find help. Loki has contacts who might know more about time loops, the child said. Teddy wonders who Loki meant- an Asgardian? A demon?

There’s little use in wondering, but it distracts Teddy from Billy’s own nervous fidgeting. The witch is pacing around the campsite, tugging at his cape. The other three don’t get it, but that’s expected. They only know Loki-the-trickster, Loki-who-is-not-to-be-trusted.

They’re both on-edge. Loki should be back by now.

When Loki finally reappears, it is a relief. Ze looks only slightly worse for the wear, just a bit dusty really. Ze’s quickly back to zir old tricks, teasing America and dancing away from her fists. Billy wants to know if ze found anything. Loki gives him a brittle smile, and that is the first clue that something is amiss.

The second clue is how ze manages to hide zir left hand. Teddy only really notices because it reminds him of the shit he used to pull when he was first getting the hang of his shapeshifting. He’d end up with a tail or half a wing until he could figure out how to smooth it away. Loki looks like ze’s trying to hide a giant scaly Skrull hand behind zir back- or whatever the Asgardian equivalent of that would be.

Noh-Varr catches Teddy’s eye, and he realizes that the Kree has noticed it too.

It’s simple for Noh-Varr to dart forward and grab Loki’s arm when America chases zir a bit too close.

Loki cries out in surprise. Noh-Varr holds Loki’s arm extended out, showing off a strange shadow that pulses under the skin. It reminds Teddy of watercolor paint spilled over paper, a pale canvas with lines of deep color, fading outward is drips and swirls.

Noh-Varr opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t manage to say anything before Loki strikes back.

Teddy doesn’t speak Kree, but he’s pretty sure whatever Noh-Varr just said is some kind of vulgar, just based on his tone. He doesn’t blame him, though, because Teddy’s sure he would act the same way if he had just been bitten in the forearm by a demon-possessed Norse god.

Noh-Varr is a trained soldier. Despite the pain, he does not let go of Loki. The child looks up at him. Teddy can’t see Loki’s face, but Noh-Varr looks vaguely ill at whatever he sees. Loki bites down harder.

“What the hell is wrong with Loki?” Kate retreats to a safe distance, glancing around for her bow.

Noh-Varr manages to smack the god away. He cradles his wounded arm, leaking blood.

“Undetermined,” Noh-Varr replies grimly.

Loki (Loki’s body?) pushes zirself up off the dirt and snarls wordlessly at the others. Zir mouth is covered in blood.

There’s something wrong with Loki’s eyes. At first Teddy assumes it’s a trick of the light, but no- Loki’s eyes have gone completely black. Sclera, iris, everything is shiny beetle black. A possession? An infection?

Loki attacks.

Ze isn’t using zir magic, just zir own body, kicking, biting, and clawing with stiff fingers. You wouldn’t think a pre-pubescent kid would pack much of a punch, but whatever is making Loki act like this is also enhancing zir strength, because Loki was definitely not this strong fighting Mother’s minions.

“What the hell?” Billy wonders aloud. Loki’s face turns toward Billy. It’s impossible to tell where ze is looking with zir eyes like that, but it’s a good bet that ze has found zir next victim.

Ze pounces.

America catches Loki by the throat and lifts zir up above the ground.

“You are _done_.”

Loki’s body hisses zir teleportation spell. There’s no doubt in Teddy’s mind that it isn’t Loki in there, because he’s heard Loki’s voice in four different bodies, but it’s never sounded like this.

Loki is gone from America’s grasp. So much for it not using magic.

Billy grunts in surprise.

While everyone was busy staring at America, no one was watching Loki’s target.

The Loki-puppet has smashed into his chest, knocking him over. It’s clawing and squirming and snapping its jaws at Billy’s face, but Billy has a much longer reach than Loki does, and he’s holding both arms extended, keeping Loki at arm’s reach.

It’s a twisted parody of the teasing games Billy plays with his younger brothers.

“Do something!” Billy screams.

Teddy rushes over to try to pull Loki off. When his hand connects to Loki’s skin, it burns. Teddy has to pull back.

Loki’s body begins to chant in a language none of them recognize. It’s not Norse.

“Shit,” Billy hisses. Thick smoke is wafting off of Loki’s body. It’s darker than wood-smoke, almost black against the clean air. It looks like the shifting mark under Loki’s skin is leaking out into the air, swirling around Loki and Billy.

“ _Shit_ ,” Billy repeats. Then, in desperation, he begins the only spell that has consistently worked for the past week. “Lokilokilokilokilokilokilok-“

“What’s he doing?” America demands.

“Loading the save file!” Teddy replies. Or maybe it’s closer to a hard reset.

The body on top of Billy catches fire, but the voice does not stop its chanting. The magic fire can’t create its own smoke, but the smoke being released by Loki’s body makes Billy and Loki look like they are both burning alive.

Billy knees Loki’s body in the stomach, and its chant is finally interrupted.

Then it explodes.

Loki’s body erupts into possibilities, glimpses of past-Lokis, other-Lokis, and possible-Lokis pass in the blink of an eye.

The smoke dissipates into the air.

Teen-Loki, _their_ Loki is crouched above Billy now, breathing hard.

Ze stares at Billy. Their faces are mere inches apart.

“Um,” Ze says. As always, ze has been reborn completely naked.

Teddy rushes over and pulls Loki off of his boyfriend. Loki looks back at him with green eyes full of confusion.

Zir eyes are clear. Whatever that was there is gone now.

“Thank god,” Teddy breathes. He catches Loki’s face in his hands, leans in, and kisses zir. Loki is frozen, zir arms held out away from their bodies as if hesitant to push Teddy away or bring him in closer.

When Teddy finally pulls away, Loki licks zir lips. Ze laughs nervously.

“Ah, Teddy, I believe you’ve kissed the wrong sorcerer. I can understand the confusion, though…” Loki brushes one hand through zir hair and looks back toward Teddy’s boyfriend. Teddy can’t see the look Loki gives Billy, but he does see Billy’s response: an amused smile and shrug.

“Ugh, all this boy-kissing,” America complains.

“Ze _bit_ me!” Noh-Varr reminds everyone.

“Can someone please explain to me what just happened?” Loki whines. When Teddy looks back at zir, ze is wearing zir usual green scalemail. Teddy tries really hard to not be disappointed by this.

As Kate begins to recount their adventure so far, Teddy finds his way over to Billy. He nudges him with one shoulder.

“Hey B,” Teddy says, “are you ok?” _Are we ok?_

Billy stares after Loki and touches a finger to his lips. “Teddy, I think I might need to change my Exception.”

**Cycle 9: Day Four**

Loki and Teddy manage to find an opportunity to break off from the group around midday.

“Congratulations, you’ve managed to make this relationship feel more clandestine than usual,” Loki comments in greeting.

“Yeah, sorry about the kiss. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. Kate kinda reamed me out afterward. I guess I should’ve asked you first.”

“I know it must sometimes seem like Evil Loki is out to ruin Billy’s life, but I’m actually _not_ trying to get between you two,” Loki tells him.

“That’s good, ‘cause we wouldn’t let you.” Teddy smiles, because Loki didn’t say the kiss was _unwelcome_.

“I expect our experiment has proven informative?” Loki’s expression is serious, and Teddy feels bad for concentrating on romance at a time like this.

“ _You_ died last time,” Teddy reminds zir. Teddy hadn’t been prepared for just how much Loki’s death would affect him. At least Billy’s deaths had all been quick, and Teddy usually didn’t even find out he’d died until time reset. They almost didn’t seem real, more like a reset switch than a death. Standing over Loki’s bleeding body as zir heart stopped was in a completely different realm. “What does it mean?”

“It could mean many things. But for certain it means our luck has not changed, and thus we have not escaped the destructive force, the reality-warper who is causing us harm.”

“Billy,” Teddy whispers.

“Seems that way, yes.”

“Why? Why would Billy’s magic be trying to kill us _and_ save us?”

Loki stands up and stretches. “Before last cycle I wasn’t even sure it would save anyone but him.”

“Uh,” Teddy begins hesitantly. “It didn’t restart with your death. Billy went supernova and attacked Black Widow after you died. I think she must’ve snapped his neck.”

Loki is speechless, which Teddy hadn’t realized was possible.

“Is this about being the Demiurge?”

“Probably,” Loki admits. “In the future, he awakens his power and becomes an omnipotent god-being. His actions echo back in time and throughout the multiverse. It makes sense that if he ever becomes Demiurge, that his power would echo back to ensure that future.”

“So his future power is what keeps resetting time,” Teddy summarizes. “Then his present is killing him?”

“Oh, I doubt it’s intentional. Whims and daydreams are all it takes. Self-harm, expanded to an existential scale.”

“So what do we do? Get him to a therapist?”

MOTHER’S DIMENSION

Meanwhile, Mother is not sitting idle waiting for the recalcitrant children to wander into her clutches once more.

At least, not if she doesn’t have to.

“You ask a lot, but I don’t see you offer anything in return,” Mother says to the visitor.

“All I ask is the opportunity to educate your little sometime-ally. I don’t intend to detract from your own interests.”

“Yes, yes. Everyone wants to a piece of Loki these days,” Mother agrees. “Yet you don’t seem to have a plan to get them here.”

Her visitor smiles. “You have the resources right at your fingertips, if you had but the desire to use them.” A twirl of painted fingers conjures the image of two children: young boys. The Kaplans.

Mother smiles an awful, sinister smile.

“I think we have a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: According to Kieron Gillen's notes, the original draft of Issue 11 (where kid Loki becomes teen Loki in canon) had Loki being naked when Billy aged him up. That's why my Loki is always naked in these chapters. Makes more sense to me.
> 
> We've finally earned those pairing tags.
> 
> It has now been about five weeks of subjective time since Billy first summoned Mother. Loki and Teddy have lived through about four weeks of that.
> 
> Only one more chapter (and the epilogue) left now. The whole fic should be up by Friday.


	10. Cycle 9, continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother has kidnapped Billy's brothers- no, not that one. His younger brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for Volume 2 of Young Avengers. Some lines taken directly from Issue 13.

**Cycle 9: Day Four (afternoon)**

Billy’s cellphone vibrates in his pocket. He takes it out and stares at it for a moment, confused. Everyone who would usually text him is in the room.

‘ _Maybe it’s my parents_ ,’ Billy thinks with dread as he unlocks the screen to read the text. It’s awkward and depressing to talk to them these days, because of course he can’t go home and they are literally incapable of understanding why.

It’s from Adam, the older of Billy’s two younger brothers.

The text says “Having fun @ sleepaway camp”. Billy smiles and opens the photo attachment.

The smile drops from his lips. Horror churns his stomach.

The grainy cell-phone picture shows his brothers, looking terrified, standing to either side of Mother. Her smile is triumphant. Joey, the youngest Kaplan boy, is crying.

“ _No_.”

It doesn’t occur to him to wonder who took the picture.

“We have to defeat Mother, _now_ ,” Billy announces to the rest of the Young Avengers.

“What’s the rush?” Teddy asks. Billy throws his phone at his boyfriend, who manages to catch it before it drops to the ground. Teddy stares at the screen. He pales. Kate tries to look over his shoulder, and he hands over the phone without comment.

“Oh,” Kate gasps. “Oh, Billy.” The phone is passed around the room while Billy silently seethes.

“I can’t wait around anymore. I can’t sit around trying to learn spells or sigils or whatever. You said I have control over reality?” Billy looks toward Loki and America, “It’s time for me to take control.”

“This really isn’t the time to go in unprepared,” Kate warns. Billy gives her a sharp look.

“No, that could actually work,” Loki disputes, “the Demiurge isn’t necessarily about knowledge or skill, it’s about _being_. It’s about who he is.”

“It could save my family.”

“I guess we’re doing this.” America shakes out her jacket and puts it on.

“I’ll handle Mother, you guys just get my brothers to safety.”

MOTHER’S DIMENSION

It isn’t that easy.

“Oh look, the children are here.”

Mother is there, waiting.

The Kaplan boys are suspended high in the air, struggling to no avail against white tendrils of Mother’s magic.

Then there are Mother’s allies.

It’s _them_.

There’s a Kree soldier, wearing a military uniform and having a broader physique, but still recognizably Noh-Varr.

There’s the Billy they met in the middle of Kansas, one cycle and several dimensions away.

There’s Kate, agent of Hydra, in her fascist-chic uniform.

There’s a Skrull soldier who stands with military bearing but who wears Teddy’s face.

And there’s him: the one double they never saw. A tall, older Loki is standing with the others. His hair is long and greasy; he has dark bags under his eyes that contrast with his wide, white smile. He wears black leather and much less green than their Loki does. He stands tall and proud, but casual as well, as if he has nothing to fear from the Young Avengers.

“Guess you dodged the bullet,” Kate says to America.

“There’s only one of me,” America tells her.

The counterparts stand tensed for battle, but no one moves. It’s the calm before the storm, the pause before an inhale. The air seems heavy with anticipation.

“Avengers Assemble,” Loki says grimly.

Billy rises into the air under the force of his own magic.

He breathes in in in in out out out.

“Demiurge,” he whispers.

“Kids these days,” Mother comments idly as she strolls toward him.

“Demiurge,” Billy repeats.

Mother’s own magic engulfs her, lifting her up to join Billy in the air.

“A∞W!” The third iteration of Billy’s spell comes out viscerally _right_.

_Control over reality…_

MEANWHILE

“You could do so much!” America screams as she punches the man who is not Billy.

“You don’t think I wanted to? I had no choice!” he argues, wiping blood off his lips.

“There is _always_ a choice.”

America is struck by lightning. She grits her teeth and lunges.

MEANWHILE

“You aren’t even evil!” Teddy pleads to his counterpart as they grapple in midair.

“You’re working with Loki!” Dorrek accuses, “Don’t you know what he’s done?”

“ _She_!” Teddy corrects, and punctuates his sentence with a punch.

MEANWHILE

“But the close-harmony girl groups-“ One Noh-Varr is saying.

“Have you heard Gram Parsons, yet?” the other Noh-Varr asks as they trade blows.

“No, is he any good?”

“Good?” The second Kree exclaims, “He-“

“Are you seriously talking about music right now?” America demands as she cuts in, tripping the first Noh-VArr - the one in short-shorts.

MEANWHILE

“You are a Nazi!” Kate yells. She rolls to avoid an arrow.

“It’s way more complicated than that! Hydra-“ her counterpart begins, drawing another arrow.

“You are an actual Nazi!” Kate reiterates.

“You have no vision,” Hydra-Kate complains, shooting.

Kate drops to the ground and dances closer to her double.

“You are a god-damned Nazi!” Kate screams as she swigs her bow like a baseball bat, knocking her counterpart to the ground.

MEANWHILE

“You really did a number on New York,” Loki mentions casually.

“They were ants,” the other Loki corrects, “barely worth notice.” He’s tall, taller than the teen-Loki, and he stands up straight, unlike Old-Loki’s constant crouch. Decked out in leather and metal, Loki thinks they look uncomfortably similar.

“Oh, I dunno,” Loki drawls, “some of them seemed kind of fun,” ze throws a knife at the other Loki. The knife whistles though the image, dispersing the illusion.

“You guessed wrong,” the other says as he wraps a long-fingered hand around Loki’s neck.

“Elsew-“ Loki gasps, but zir opponent tightens his grip on zir neck, cutting off air flow.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” other-Loki taunts, “Did you think you were winning?”

He transforms briefly into a copy of Old-Loki. Scarred lips pull into a sneer. His form shifts again, and this time the face Loki stares into is zir own. He’s wearing a green tunic with a horned symbol emblazoned in gold. In place of Loki’s own horned headgear, the other wears a simple, familiar gold diadem.

“ _I am the crime that will not be forgiven_ ,” The other Loki hisses.

Green eyes widen in horrified realization.

The destructive force isn’t Billy. It isn’t Mother. It’s Loki.

It’s always been Loki.

“Shut the FUCK up!” America roars, coming out of nowhere to kick the taller Loki in the crotch.

He crumbles, chocking. Loki stands, clutching zir throat in relief.

“America-“ Loki gasps. Ze stares at zir savior in surprise.

“If we don’t save each other, we’ve got jack,” America tells zir, then turns around to block an attack from Billy’s counterpart. Loki spares a moment to wonder how that is for her, beating on a copy of her childhood idol.

Zir double doesn’t stay down for long.

“She’s got spirit!” other-Loki laughs, “I think I’ll visit her when I’m done with your sorry excuse for an Asgardian!”

“Shut up, you nightmarish reject!” Loki hisses. Zir friends are tired, hurt, and confused. So is Loki.

Ze knows how to end this. “Listen!” Ze yells.

As if on cue, the League of Evil Twins stops what they are doing and turn toward Loki.

In confusion, the Young Avengers do the same.

“Once upon a time,” Loki chokes out, “Loki saved Asgard.”

Ze tells them a story about an evil mastermind, a sly magpie, and a boy-hero who believed in good. Ze tells them how he died bravely, with no one to mourn his passing.

“This is all my fault,” ze cries, falling to zir knees. “I lured Mother here. I tricked Billy into summoning her. It was my magic sustaining the time loops. It was all me. I’m the _villain of the story_.”

America stands above Loki.

“I’m _sorry_ ,” ze wails. Zir child-self is impassive _. I’m still dead_.

America is unimpressed. “ _Now_ you are.”

Loki tries to smile, zir lips widening awkwardly over bared teeth. “I’ll do it again,” ze warns, “I am Loki. Some heroic, innocent child will fall into my grasp and I will murder them in cold blood.” Zir eyes find Billy, locked in battle far above them. “Maybe it will even be him.”

America’s face is stone. “I know what you’re trying to do. I won’t make this easier for you. Anyway,” she says, “Billy won’t be killed by the likes of you.”

“Loki!” Teddy calls, “Can your identity crisis wait? Billy needs us.”

In the cloud of magic, Billy is having a crisis of his own.

He barely looks up when Loki and Teddy arrive in his oasis of safety in the maelstrom of magic.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he tells them.

“Bullshit,” Teddy says, and walks toward his boyfriend.

“I know what’s going on. I heard you two talking, before. This is all my fault. My magic, my depression. If I wasn’t such a fuck up, you two wouldn’t be caught up in this. You should leave while you still can.” Billy stares at them both like it’s the last time he’ll see them. He looks at Teddy with eyes full of love, longing. He looks at Loki as if he can’t quite believe ze’s there.

Loki hates being Loki sometimes. _Damn you all. Damn me._

“Billy, I was wrong. The time loop is the result of two clashing reality-warpers.”

“Mother isn’t doing it,” Billy reminds zir.

“There are three reality warpers on the field, Billy. Mother. You. And me. It’s not your guilt that’s trying to kill us. It’s mine.” Loki takes a deep breath. No going back. “You’re the reason we always come back. It’s your drive to live, to hold on, that is keeping my self-destruction in check.”

Billy looks at Teddy for confirmation.

Teddy nods, “I’m not 100% on the details, but all the Evil Twins disappeared when Loki started confessing earlier.”

Billy laughs unhappily. “I guess we both fucked up.”

Loki gives a fake sigh, “Ah, the struggles of having ultimate cosmic power!”

“What a drag,” Billy deadpans.

Teddy and Loki each hold a hand out to Billy, and together they pull him to his feet.

Teddy offers his other hand to Loki, and ze takes it, completing the circle.

“Circles are containment,” Billy recites from Loki’s magic lessons.

“It doesn’t matter,” Loki tells him, “This isn’t about containment. This is about you, your potential, your dreams, your existence.”

Billy squeezes his eyes shut.

When they open again, they contain galaxies.

Billy’s power washes over Mother’s dimension, eating through tendrils of Mother’s power, gently cradling the younger Kaplan boys, causing a radiance that makes the other Young Avengers shield their eyes to protect themselves.

“Saved by the power of…. Boy kisses?” Kate asks, feeling a little disappointed.

“Power of love, princess,” America corrects with a smile.

~A∞W~

Loki tries to leave, after, but Billy stops him.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I confessed to murdering a child earlier,” Loki tells him.

“Bullshit. That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

So Loki tells the story once more.

“Once upon a time, Loki was a villain. He was Voldemort and Sauron and Vader wrapped into a ball of vindictiveness and lies. Then, he sacrificed his life to save Asgard from destruction.  No one knew why he did it. But I do. It was a trick. It’s _always_ a trick. A child-Loki was created from his essence, without the memories and hatred of Old Loki. Thor found him, and he loved him. His brother had returned to him. It was- it was good. But the child-Loki was not all that Old-Loki left behind. There was another part that emerged: Loki’s memories. This Loki took the form of a magpie, and the child named it Ikol. Ikol followed the child for months, watching as he won trust and became a hero. Then, Ikol destroyed him and stepped into his body.” Loki steps back and spreads zir hands wide, “and here I am.”

Billy is unconvinced. “You’re being over-dramatic again. If you’ve done all this, if you’re so evil, then why did you come back to save us?”

Loki will _make him understand_. “When I stepped into his body, I also stepped into his role. The child-Loki managed to change. That has, in turn, changed me.”

“It sounds like you aren’t the Old Loki any more than you are the kid-Loki,” Teddy interjects.

“Maybe you’re a new one, a mix of the two.”

“Aren’t you paying attention? The child is gone, obliterated,” Loki insists.

Teddy won’t give up, “You said you have his role, his body, and Old Loki’s memories. But you don’t act like either of them. Seems to me that makes you a new Loki.”

“I’d love to believe that.” It would be a balm to zir guilt, it would absolve zir of Old Loki’s sins. Loki wants so badly to believe ze is that person, which is why ze must be suspicious. Loki is the god of lies, and ze must be extremely careful not to lie to zirself.

“You said Old Loki was never a girl,” Teddy reminds Loki. “But you are.”

And… he’s right.

Loki stares at Teddy. “A new Loki…” ze says. “Maybe the child won after all.”

**~~Cycle 9:~~ Present.**

It’s much later when the trio has the chance to speak again. The younger Kaplans are bundled up in blankets and taken home for Billy’s parents to fuss over, Kate fields a phone call from Eli (“What the hell happened? Are you guys active again? Why did no one call me?”), and Billy makes one more scrying spell to make sure Mother is gone for good. He erased her from existence. He washed away her influence from the timeline. Still, it never hurts to be sure.

They’ve only stolen a few moments of peace, Billy and Teddy huddled together on Teddy’s bed, Loki lounging against the windowsill. Billy wishes they could leave things here. He wishes he could curl up and go to sleep confident that time wouldn’t pull a fast one on him before he woke up.

Certain things need to be said.

“Loki. I like you. We like you.” Teddy likes to make some things clear.

“But a relationship is not built of sentiment alone.” Loki looks almost somber. It’s good ze’s taking this seriously, but Billy doesn’t really like the look in zir eyes.

“Yeah. If we’re going to do this, and believe me, we want to do this, we need to know we can trust you.”

“I won’t make any promises I can’t keep, Billy. I will lie to you. I will trick you. Sometimes I will have you believe me to be one thing when I am another.” Which is well, obvious. _Loki_.

“We know that,” Teddy says, waving his hand casually, “We know who you are, we know what we’re getting into. But can we trust you? Are you going to be there for us? Are you going to have our back? Can we trust that you won’t run off one day without warning?”

“I am not the warm cuddly type,” Loki warns. Billy remembers holding hands and the crushing hug they shared after Mother’s defeat, but wisely does not mention it.

“Yeah, well I’ve got Teddy for that,” he says instead, “I’m all good on the warm-cuddly front. Might be in the market for a Loki, though.”

“I- yes. Yes.” Loki’s face is calm, but zir voice betrays an edge of desperation. Zir eyes are sharp and bright.

Teddy holds out a hand to Loki. Ze joins them on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Kate get's my favorite line in the entire fic: "You are a god-damned Nazi!" Some things are not morally complex. Thank you Kate.
> 
> That's MCU!Loki that our protagonist is fighting, so feel free to imagine all of his lines in Tom Hiddleston's voice.
> 
> To be honest, I feel like this makes a lot more sense than the League of Evil Exes and Patri-not. These are people that Loki has met and formed impressions of, people whom ze associates with guilt and betrayal. Whereas I'm not clear on how canon!Loki even knows about the Ultimate Nullifier and co.
> 
> Feel free to write up a comment if you’ve gotten this far- otherwise I don’t know what’s working and what isn’t in these fics. 
> 
> To be concluded in the epilogue. See you on Thursday!


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of the Young Avengers, 2 months after Mother's defeat.

Billy’s not sure Tommy will ever forgive him for leaving his twin out of their adventure. Billy gets it; Tommy was the only Young Avenger who still wanted to stay with the team after Cassie’s death. From that perspective, it’s kind of shitty to have left Tommy out when they ran off to fight Mother.

Still, Billy can’t believe he’s still holding a grudge after two months.

Today’s the first time he’s even made it to brunch with them, holding out even longer than Eli, who took the train down to join them the week before.

Tommy is talking a mile a minute and he brought some other guy with him. Billy’s pretty sure his name is David, but it’s hard to decipher Tommy-speak sometimes, so he wouldn’t bet on it. The funniest part is when Teddy asks how they know each other.

Tommy says “we’re friends,” at the same time that maybe-David says “We work together”. David gives Tommy a look of weary acceptance. Billy thinks Tommy must live so fast that other people’s social scripts don’t always match up.

He’s beginning to think that they’ll never have the full Young Avengers team in one room again, because while Tommy is here, Eli is not and Billy doesn’t care if Eli hung up his mask for good or not; once a Young Avenger, always a Young Avenger. Noh-Varr gets a pass for missing brunch, as he’s not technically allowed to be on Earth anymore.

Billy is pretty sure that’s why America is still hanging around, too. She and Kate have been hanging out a lot lately, and Billy thinks America is probably staying with her while on Earth-616. That would explain why Kate is wearing America’s sweater, anyway.

Kate is telling David and Tommy about the Kree Soul-bow she borrowed from Noh-Varr during their adventure, mourning its passage back to its original owner.

“It sounds like it was perfect for you,” David says, “keyed to your energy signature and no need for ammo. Why didn’t you keep it?” David is kind of a super genius and knows ‘pretty much everything, ever’, in Tommy’s words, so Billy suspects he’s only asking to be polite.

“It didn’t seem right to keep it,” Kate sighs, “I’m more of an arrow-girl than a plasma-blast girl. I’ve got Hawkeye’s bow here anyway, and it’s really more suited to me.” Billy catches her eye and taps out a text message under the table. “METAPHOR”.

Kate and Tommy are making awkward eye contact now, and Billy isn’t really comfortable thinking about the pile of drama and feelings between his brother and his best friend, so he looks away.

“Billy,” Kate suddenly growls, clearly having read his text. She playfully makes a grab for him across the table, and he tries to duck away, jostling Teddy in the process. Teddy’s arm slams into the table, the dull thump of the impact quickly drowned out by the crash of their communal coffee pot shattering onto the floor.

“Shit,” someone says.

Teddy looks apologetic. “A little help?” he begs, nudging Loki, who has been uncharacteristically silent this whole time.

“Hm?” the god asks, studying the porcelain shards sitting just inches from zir feet. “Kate broke it. She should pay for it.”

“Can’t you just-?” Tommy wiggles his fingers at Loki in the universal sign for ‘magic’.

Loki shakes zir head. “It’s not worth it. My magic tends toward destruction, anyway. I wouldn’t risk it.”

Teddy frowns. “Since when?”

Loki rolls zir eyes, “Since _always_. Loki has been mayhem and madness for so long, my magic has gotten into a rut.”

“Like how I’ve been working with Wanda to teach my magic new habits,” Billy adds, aware that several people at the table aren’t willing to take Loki’s word for it.

“Not exactly,” Loki admits, “It’s different for gods. We’re creatures of story, after all. _Everyone_ knows Loki is evil and wicked and dickish, so that’s what my magic tends toward, you see?”

“So you have to tell a different story?” America guesses.

“That’s not all. Loki is such a long, well-known story already. I have to mitigate the influence of the old story, too.”

“So what _are_ you going to do?” Teddy wants to know.

Loki looks thoughtfully at zir milkshake. “I’m going to try for Lawful Good.” Billy looks unconvinced. “Maybe Neutral Good,” Loki allows.

“Ohgreatnowwehaveawhole _set_ ofnerds,” Tommy complains.

Kate ends up paying for the broken pot, and soon after that the rest of the food finally arrives.

Teddy wraps an arm around Loki in a transparent attempt to get closer to zir milkshake. Ze moves it out of reach with a vindictive smile, offering it to Billy instead.

It’s good to be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank everyone who made it through all eleven chapters! We made it! Remember to click the **kudos** button if you enjoyed Be Careful Making Wishes in the Dark. Leave me a comment here, on [livejournal](%E2%80%9Dnorickayer.livejournal.com%E2%80%9D), or on [ tumblr](%E2%80%9Dfanflailing.tumblr.com%E2%80%9D). 
> 
> Be Careful Making Wishes In the Dark was written because  
> A) I didn’t think the canon ending (League of Evil Exes) made a lot of sense,  
> B) time loops are awesome,  
> C) I wanted to give Billy enough time to actually consider Loki trustworthy as an ally, and  
> D) poly ships make me happy
> 
> The first cycle ended with Billy’s suicide because I felt like that scene was kind of forgotten after it happened in the comic. That’s BIG. Billy felt he was helpless and useless and that’s not something I wanted to ignore for the sake of ‘redeeming’ Loki. Loki was dumb and didn’t consider the emotional consequences of zir actions on other people. Ze fucked up and Billy paid the price. (In canon Loki might have really intended Billy to die, but in this fic Loki meant Billy’s potential death to be the unthinkable outcome that no one would really consider. “Plan B” was a game piece to Loki, nothing more.) In this fic, like in canon, it’s Loki’s realization of these consequences that break Loki’s plan. After Loki comes back to save the Young Avengers, ze’s flying by the seat of zir pants, making things up as ze goes along.
> 
> I would have loved to include Tommy and David in the actual meat of the story, but I wasn’t prepared to juggle quite that many characters. Most of the stories in my BLT (Billy-Loki-Teddy) series will center on the triad, but the other team members will also get their moments in the limelight.
> 
> Stay tuned for the next story in the series: “Loki is really very evil” coming to an AO3 near you!


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